wester-er

We have a surprise winter storm. Brandon scrambles to get classes covered. We’re shocked at how far apart two movie sequels are. Plus, a deep dive into a formative book.

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A VERY ROUGH TRANSCRIPT OF THE EPISODE

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SUMMARY KEYWORDS

midwest, weird, magnets, read, people, west, part, book, talking, movie, happening, point, day, school, kansas, fun, watch, funny, friday, iowa

SPEAKERS

Collin, Brandon

Collin  00:04

Welcome to Oh brother, a podcast of three brothers. Trying to figure it all out with your host, Brandon, Colin and Aaron. On this week's show, Wester are

Brandon  00:17

a high ROI

Collin  00:21

how's the Arctic tundra down? Down south?

Brandon  00:26

You know, it's it's frozen. Not a lot happening here mostly hiding inside. Because well, it's freezing actually is below freezing technically official about these things,

Collin  00:43

which we do.

Brandon  00:45

It is frigid. I believe yes. Arctic is a good word to describe this. Yeah, yeah. Not going really it stopped that Tao. That's what

Collin  01:00

this was quite shocking to me because this was not even on. I mean, not on our literal radar for like weather and such. But it wasn't even in our periphery of knowledge that this winter store was happening south of us. So we kind of watched, horrified as more and more reports came in on like Facebook, about how everything was shutting down, and it was all an icy icy mess, and everything was terrible and awful and not very good. Like, well, that. Okay, we may need to change the view of the businesses plan. So

Brandon  01:38

hold on. I was shocked. I was I was, yeah.

Collin  01:45

So it was mostly freezing rain. Or did you how much snow did you end up getting?

Brandon  01:50

So snow? Not a lot, right. Like not a lot of snow? In the whole grand scheme of things, not like maybe an inch total? Probably not. That's like already exaggerating? Not a lot of what we got was sleep. Right? Ah, there was probably a good half inch of sleep out there. Yeah, yeah, it was gross. So like, just because, you know, we, I Okay, so this was also not on my weather radar, either, like Friday when we left school. I was like, Yeah, whatever. Like, it's almost like, yeah, it might, the weather might be kind of bad next week. That was kind of the extent of the conversations that I had about it. Yeah, that that was all. And so like, Sunday night, we're like, what is happening? And it like, it did that? And then it did again. And then it did it again, right? Like just every day just like sleep more and then be 15 degrees outside. That is all like there's no like 20 degrees for the past like three days. So that's, that's the extent of the

Collin  03:26

doing any, any outside walks,

Brandon  03:28

I presume? No, no, I have not said from my booth laps on the last one. That that really put the kibosh on it or me personally, but it has been so old out there like it's even. Not even funny, so we haven't done anything. We haven't gone anywhere. I didn't even have to cancel my dentist's appointment because they called me we're like, yeah, no, we're not even opening tomorrow. So nice. Wait, all right. It was like, that's good. Because I was going to call you in the morning anyway, because I can't leave my street like it's just solid. Oh, frozen, right? Because it was like sleety is big, sleety layer and then there's like a little bit of like, really powdery snow on top of it. So it's just like the slickest thing ever. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, that's really nice. Yeah. With like, some really like fine powder dust over top of it. That's cool. That's really traction II, right. Like I haven't. No, it's not.

Collin  04:39

Yeah, that's the that's the thing about that of these. Those winter storms were like TOTAL ACCUMULATIONS. They're not ever very impressive. But it's what was accumulating. Right? That all of a sudden becomes extremely wary. So

Brandon  04:55

yeah, that's the problematic part. That's like It's like sleety icns. Arkansas got it way worse. I guess it's just like a solid sheet of ice down there. Like I've been seeing on the weather stuff so like, that's fun. But so we just had the tip of it but yeah, we're like well stay inside and stay inside some more. So that's really been my week. been pretty. uneventful.

Collin  05:33

Never put a hard sweat involve your adventures last week. Yeah, I

Brandon  05:37

know. Right, complete U turn. Took the dive here. And so just like sitting at home, right. And it was really weird because Monday, the listeners behind the curtain here. This is currently Wednesday. February 1. Okay, that's important. That's not when you're gonna be hearing this. But Hello, future listeners. How are you? Anyway? Ah, Monday. They were just like, okay. Just the school said it's just a snow day. Free Day. Sweet. Yeah. Awesome. Tuesday. Hey. Yes, this snow day. Free Day. Sweet. Wednesday, virtual work learning day. changed? Yeah, right, like a mid day, right? That's what we call it at our school, right? And so, like, I didn't have to be like, virtually do anything because all the assignments are already online. And I already told my kids when they were we prepared? Like when we came back from Christmas break. We just had a whole big talk a couple days. Like, this is the time of the year where we need this. So let's explain how this works. Yeah. We don't bother explaining it really. Before Christmas, because it doesn't really snow that much in like November. So we. But after we're like, Hey, listen, here we go. So they had an A, like download and stuff. But like, that's a hard swing for kids to be like, Oh, I'm doing nothing, do nothing. Do all the things like wait, what? And I imagined for elementary school students, right? It's gonna be awkward. Okay. So like, even for some of my kids, because like, not all of my kids take their devices home on the weekends, because they just don't care because they have their own or whatever. And they're just like, whenever, you know, it's, I don't need it. So I'm just really just cool. So, this weather system was so not on my radar that I didn't bother saying things on Friday, like, make sure you take your stuff home. Oh, there are probably there are at least two, probably more than that. Kids that don't have their devices at home to do their work. So that's cool. I mean, they go, that's fun. You know, and that's, you know, again, this is like, it's technically their responsibility to do that, I guess. Because like, after Christmas, we also start transitioning to we transition from you can only take your device's home on Friday to we're going to start letting you take it home every day. Because that's what seventh graders do. Oh, and so it's kind of like a practice plus snow days. Right? We should just bring So yeah, we're like taking home every day, just in case Riley's January, February for the past couple years have been like, surprised by the school for a long time. So what's the I know some of them didn't do that? And I know, it's like, technically their responsibility, but also like, I feel really bad for them. Because the vibe? Well, yeah. And like, you know, it's like, oh, man, you

Collin  09:16

also suffer in those situations, do you? How do you start to ascertain? Or D Do you know? Who has won? How do you manage that? Or?

Brandon  09:28

I don't know, because I didn't like pay that much attention on Friday of who took their stuff home or left it charging on the charging ports in my classroom? Like, I don't know, who did or didn't, right. I know that there were some over there. Right. The number is greater than what should be there. That's all I got. Right. Like I know. That's what that's greater than that. What should be there on a Friday, you know? Yeah, so But some kids if they like, if they're going to be traveling for the weekend or whatever they're like, I'm not going to take it because I don't want to, like accidentally leave it at my grandma's house or something like that, you know? So that was the plan, or they're just like, Yeah, I just thought, you know, I don't need it at home, just the hassle or whatever. Like, that's cool. Except for you got work to do now. So that's fun. Technically, if they have any other way of getting online at home, they could get it. Right. Because it's on line you said it's ascertainable. But if they're a person that doesn't have internet access, and they had downloaded it to their device, so they could do it all. Sans internet. Then, kind of problem, right? Yeah. So yeah, it's always fun to wade through that we need to get back to this is the problem, right? So like, I really don't have any way of ascertaining this until we return to school. Because the kids that did download it, like they're not going to post it or email it to me, because that's the whole reason they download it because they don't have internet access at their house. Right. So they emailed me basically, whenever we go back to school, which unfortunately is looking like Friday,

Collin  11:29

growth, really don't think you're gonna be

Brandon  11:32

Outlander. We're not going to be back tomorrow. We already got I got a phone call. Right? Oh, school tomorrow. Tomorrow, it is supposed to be like, it's allegedly going to actually get like, close to 40. So it should Milty.

Collin  11:50

Yeah, but

Brandon  11:51

random backroads in southwest Missouri. Right. Who knows? But my road might be passable tomorrow. But the same time having one day of school will we be Friday? Is again, if not be fun. It's almost not worth it. It's almost not worth it. Yeah. It was just like, you know, what, just canceled school. And we'll see you Monday. Right that, that I feel like that's the appropriate response. If I was superintendent, that's what I would do. I'd be like, Look, I don't care. This, this is not worth the hassle. It's ridiculous, right? Like, we wish we had extra days in our calendar anyway. Let's just reflect and reset. And we'll come back Monday, right? This is like a whole week, the week that never was right. That's what I feel like that's the appropriate response. But trying to wade through all this catastrophe. Basically, I had to make myself a checklist. Right? And just go through and start looking at people. And either seeing if it is I'm just gonna take minute, minute the beginning of class being like, Is yours online? Or is it done? Like is did you turn in in the classroom and Google Classroom? Or do you have it on your device that I can look at right now. Because if they have another device, I told them, just bring it up to me and show me and I'll just scroll through it. And I'll check your work and see if it's good. And then like, you know, I can do it that way. But that takes a lot of time. Right? So I don't really know, like, but I am going to have to make a checklist basically, of all my classes. And then just like, go, that's what I will do, probably as I will, right, I will go through my gradebook, and I'll just make lists of the classes, right? Just just like in the gradebook alphabetically down. And then I'll just put checkmarks by their names for which assignments they have done. Right. I feel like I feel like that's the way I'm going to do it.

14:09

Well, yeah, cuz you have to be as efficient with that and make sure that you don't miss something. And yeah, and still, I don't know, are you going to try and do more on Friday if you're in class?

Brandon  14:24

It depends, right? Because for social studies, we're in the middle of a multi day project anyway. And so like it's, it's just like, so we would just do that. Right? And that's what we would do probably. So I'm not real sure. I don't remember what we're doing a science because we just started something new. We just started weather conveniently. So

Collin  14:56

Well, it'd be all be new for everybody.

Brandon  14:59

Yeah. So it'll be kind of Yeah, everything is new. So it's like not like we weren't like in the middle of something, like the thing that we did on Friday, we finished last Friday, I mean, we finished that. And so whatever we were going to do the next day is, will be new to everybody anyway, so we'll have to see. Right? After see what, what happens. that'll that'll be fun. But this is what I do, right? Because I have to, like, just have everything out in front of me. So I look at it, like I will legitimately, I just get my clipboard. And I grab a piece of paper. And I, I usually, I grabbed three pieces of paper, cuz I'll have three classes that rotate. Right, so I'll just frontside one class backside, the other class, other paper, the third class, and I have a, like a square, you know, a little square, like a triangle looking thing, you know, yeah. And I just make my own charts. For whatever it is I'm doing. Right? If I'm grading something like, this is how I make the rubric so that I when I grade, right, I like across the top axis, I just put the categories, I want to checkmark. And then I just use my square to draw nice little beautiful vertical lines, down my lined paper. And then when I'm going through looking at stuff, I've just checkmark off boxes. And that way, I just have a whole table. And I can see, I can just look across on rows, like this person has everything, this person has everything, this person missing something this right, just like this is like I have to visually see it that way. Because it helps me keep track of everything. Because like I said, it's like it's a lot of stuff to try to keep track of and manage. And so that's probably what I will do, right? Because when I'm grading like when they do presentations, this is how I grade it. Right? The first round, I graded two rounds, like I graded by i My top row is the stuff that was on the rubric. Like the things that I told you you had to have. And I'm just looking what they're presenting. I'm just sitting there going. Yep. Yep. Nope. Yep. And I'm like, I just check it off. And then I go back later and look at the details and stuff. But like, I haven't checked mark of these other things ahead. But it helps me visualize everything very simply. So I'll probably make a big old table.

17:44

Hey, they help.

Brandon  17:46

Just check mark it off. Yeah, well, that's

Collin  17:51

I think that's the point of having those rubrics, or at least the organized table so that you can see exactly what you have and exactly what you don't have it compare between things and keep everything in order and

Brandon  18:05

on track. Yeah, I was abnormally excited this year, because I found my square that I was missing. So this is the kind of dirty moments that I have I have I have like three, you know, they there's always like, a lot of those architectures or the engineer squares, there's like three different ones. And there's different sizes. So I have one that's like enormous. It's like a giant like equal lateral triangle, which is not helpful, right. It's big, like it's too big. It's too big to use, like it's a right triangle that it's huge, right? And then I have another one that's like a medium sized one. It's like fine, but when I was using it had a small one. It's like nine or 10 inches long side. And like I couldn't find it forever. I didn't know where it was. And I think what had happened was I was like, oh, I should put it at the end of the year or something. I was like I should put it here so I don't lose it. Yeah, we know how that turns out all the time. And so

19:10

it's gone forever. And after

Brandon  19:13

this year I found it again and it was much rejoicing way too much celebrating of square. It's a crucial part of my existence. Yes, I think that's right, a really weird tool that I must have at all times. So yeah, I'll probably be using that. to wade through this quagmire of who has their work done. Who because because the the stickier right for these virtual quote virtual days or AMI days. alternate method of instruction Is that in order for that day to count as a school day and not go against your like, number of days that the state says you have to be in session per year. I have to grade this. We're Oh, interesting. I have to write, that's parents. So otherwise, it doesn't count as an instructional day. But because the child was spending X number of minutes doing schoolwork per day. Yes, the count as a school day. That is you don't have to make it up or do anything with it. According to the state of Missouri in there, they're just out there just so wise those fools that this, this, this count is a school day. Right. So So apparently, doing let's see, the huge nears I could figure an hour and 20 minutes an hour and a half of classwork counts as a school day. Whatever. Well, you know what, I have to grade it. And so laughs I have to proof that they did it. Right. And so if they didn't do it, they have to make it up. At some point. I can do it. Right. It's a mandatory work. Which is annoying to like, track it down. Yeah. Find It's hard enough to get people to turn in like normal work when they're in school.

21:41

Right. Yeah.

Collin  21:42

Let alone like fake work when you're not like, Oh, no. I mean, yes.

Brandon  21:50

Yeah, yeah, it's fine. Wow. But I have to say, I have to chase it all down. And I have to give him a grade for it. It has to be in the gradebook. So that's fun. You know, so that is the biggest hassle is I have to chase it down, and I have to track it down. And I have to do all this stuff. So that's gonna be that's always a fun time. And, man, kids love missing recess to work on work they were supposed to do at home. So that's going to be fun to do. But also, since they're taking all the devices homes, like just do it. Okay, when I need it. Yeah, the sooner the better. Otherwise, you'll forget

Collin  22:37

about it, please. Yeah. Well, it's that's,

22:42

I don't know. I don't know. I.

Collin  22:44

I'm sure that that's hard to, to be prepared. I know. You said you had a lot of a lot of assignments just kind of ready and waiting.

Brandon  22:53

Yeah, last year, when they came up with this brilliant plan. I spend a lot of time making these things, right. So there's a lot of weird caveats here. Like, I, I'm just, I can't teach new material. Right. So it can't be new. But until I'm, all of my AMI stuff is stuff that happens in the first semester of school, right? It's just like random things from not random. But like it's the major topics from the first semester. Just again, so like, it's not new, right? If we ever have an AMI day, like the first month of school, I'm in trouble. But

23:45

that'd be weird, right? To

Brandon  23:46

have one in like, August. September. That'd be strange.

Collin  23:49

But very,

Brandon  23:50

if it ever happens there, we have a problem. Because that's where my first units are. And that's what stuff first things are from there. So that's exciting. But yeah, so it can't be new. It has to be review, but they have to do it. Otherwise, it doesn't count. So I don't know how they would know this. What a what a weird web to walk through. It doesn't make any sense, right? There's literally no way to monitor that. Right? Yeah, that's fine. Is the State gonna come to my classroom? And we're gonna be like, dig around through there. Be like, Oh, her shoe that you don't have is Eric Schmidt. You know, walk into my classroom and inspect my grade book, probably at some point, because they're insane. Government part Parson is just going to show up and be like, Yo, let me see your learning standards. And the wall buddy. You and everyone else can see him. Call Now,

Collin  25:01

you're assuming he knows those kinds of things exist? I

Brandon  25:04

think you do. Yeah, that's a good point. Certain groups in the government are very concerned about what is happening in the school. But like for the wrong reasons, like, they just want to make sure certain things aren't happening. Right. This is, that's why there's all these like, weird things happen. So it's like, it's not that you're doing a good job. And you're like, being equitable and fostering a positive learning environment. It's what what? What things are you saying? I don't like and you shouldn't be saying, right. That's what it's just it's weird code for censorship. Anyway, we won't talk about that. But yeah, we we got. So yeah, that's my quagmire is waiting through, do you have your work or not? It'll be fun. It takes forever, like, blah. Well, it's like, it's almost like you have to spend a whole day going through the days that you just did that quote, unquote, count as real school like. And I'm still behind my curriculum I have to get through throughout the whole year anyway. So bad doesn't mean it's, it's completely useless. Sounds sounds sounds like it.

26:39

Sorry.

Brandon  26:40

It's a dumb, is, whatever, it's fine. Well,

26:48

that we have not been doing that.

Brandon  26:54

I mean, yeah. Today, I've been playing video games and like, reading so like, this is what I'm actually just checking my email today. And like, see if anybody email me, they did it. But like, you know, just, there's a case.

27:19

Good Times

Brandon  27:22

did well, it did give us an important and important time to finally catch up on some things. Like, finally remembering to buy certain movies on Amazon, so that your wife can watch them for the first time ever. Oh, yes. Walk us

Collin  27:41

through your latest movie movie time. Me.

Brandon  27:46

movie times. What? So? purchased? So? Because we were talking about it? A few weeks ago, on our brilliant episode about cat movies. I was like, You know what, I should actually watch Oliver and company and see. See if it is such a high spot on my ranking. Okay. Yeah. And so going off. Like, so I had this very odd experience when I watched it, right. We were watching it. And I was like, it started. And I was just like, I don't remember any of this. I had no memory of how the movie started. I really had no memory of the plot, really. I had no memory of like, a lot of things that's going on. And he needs to Hunter, and they play that stinking song and my brain just like turned on blast. was like, I was remembering that trailer to this movie.

Collin  29:02

Oh my gosh. It's triggered or activated. Manchurian Candidate,

Brandon  29:08

Disney song, like perigon Weird dormant parts of my brain. And like I was remembering, like the ads on TV. I was remembering like, posters of this movie. Right? I was I was remembering all kinds of weird things about the movie and things associated with the movie that I had not remembered it all it's I heard that dumb song. It's so catchy. Like a like a like lit up these parts of my brain and I was remembering all this stuff. It was hilarious. I was just like, ah, like having a meltdown over there. She was looking at me like I was insane because I am but but yes, yes, I was correct. All for companies and excellent. Movie. Ah, just a movie about cats. It's really good. I liked it a lot sooner gives it two thumbs up by the way, big, big, big fan.

Collin  30:07

That was my that was my question. What was the review?

Brandon  30:11

I believe it was something like I loved it some some of that official, something like that that was the official sound there. So watch Oliver and company then. Then the main event, the main event, I bought a DVD because I can't be bothered to have any more internet things to pay for the double feature. Rescuers Down Under Yeah. And there was much rejoicing again. It was so good. That was I don't know why I haven't bought this before. Like I was like this, I've I feel like I've looked at that, like 20 times and then be like now buy it later. And then, like five years later, I still don't own it. But now I bet now that we watch this, so we had movie watching time. It's all we've been doing this week. movie watching time. Okay, hanging out.

Collin  31:28

It had she seen that she had not seen those either. She had seen

Brandon  31:31

the rescuers, the first one. But like when she was young, and so she didn't remember anything accuser. I remember that they were mice. And a bird. All right. Yep, that's Wow. Yeah, that's it. Well,

Collin  31:51

I'm just realizing the rescuers. First off. First off, the rescuers came out in 1977.

Brandon  32:00

Yeah, yeah, it was really

Collin  32:01

weird. The Rescuers Down Under came out in 1991 T three, and they still had evil Gabor and Bob

Brandon  32:12

Newhart voicing. Yes, it's really weird. It's really odd, right there to difficultly different eras of Disney movie. Wow. Right.

Collin  32:21

I didn't know that.

Brandon  32:24

Yeah, I didn't realize that either. Until we were watching it. And I was looking up about it. Because we were talking about Disney movies. And that conversation that we've had many times on the show, right? Where like, that era of Disney movie that people don't like, is some of my favorite movies are in there. Right? Like that. Bro Bronze Age, I guess technically, it was like all those 80s movies that like people don't like to talk about, like all of our company. Right? That's like the last one. Right? Because all of our company is 1988 And the very next year they made the little mermaid which sort of like kick started the Disney Renaissance into the 90s Yeah, right. So like, a lot of those those Bronze Age movies from like 1970 to 1988 that people don't like I think are great. You know, those are excellent. Like all the ones on this list, they're like looking at right now. They're just like, Oh no, everyone's always like no those are the bad ones like what are you talking about? These are these are excellent. Yes. Now I I definitely agree. Yeah, so yeah, that was a a shock when you're looking at when you watch them like this is like I didn't really remember that being a thing like I didn't remember them being that different. Sure. In my mind they're not that different when you watch them consecutively you look at them and go the

Collin  33:53

animation styles and everything yeah, there's

Brandon  33:55

animation and like again the the color of the second one

34:02

oh yeah other astounding when you watch Part of it's the setting right? Like the first movie is very dark. Oh I in tone

Brandon  34:14

and also in like what's happening I can't see

Collin  34:19

Yeah, well I was gonna say I remember the rescuers just being part of the tone plus part of part of that I think is the animation where it is just dim like the entire

Brandon  34:28

time Yeah, it is. And again, there was parts of that the first rescuers that I didn't remember either because like like the beginning part like the setup you know like the the prologue or but not the prologue but like the the rising some of the rising action stuff when it starts going I was like, what? I was sitting there going how do they end up in the swamp anyway?

34:55

Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, the

Brandon  34:57

cow. There's a cow. There's a cat Okay, okay, I remember this right like the I was struggling because I just remembered, like, apart when they're in the swamp like close to the end that's the only real parts that I remembered. You know, like the ending parts where they're like the chase in the in the hole in the Gaza Israeli same yeah I that's what I remembered like the beginning of the investigation I say okay what? What's going on here so

35:36

well I'm glad that sounds like that was a good it was fun.

Brandon  35:40

Yeah it was luckily those came in before for the heat arrived so that was freeze. Yeah, that was really handy came in over the weekend and so like, again, I was not planning on having me snow days to watch these, but that's what I got. Yeah, they killed me like they gave me like earlier so I don't know that's a little odd. Take what you're given a space Yeah, yeah. Oh, along with it keep cutting you off because if you were going to talk about things you're no you're fine. But the other thing that I the other well let's say The Rescuers was not the only thing that I've been putting off buying for a very long time. Right? Oh my gosh, you've been busy. Okay, have I finally repurchased a book that I lost? My Oh, 15 years ago? Yes. Uh huh. Right. And now this book, like, is it good? Questionable, right. questionable. Its goodness. Right. But it does contain several, like, important things in my life that I reference a lot, because I first read it in high school. Right? I first read in high school, and so it's affordable time. You know, can you use and so it's a book of like, contemporary humor. Right. Now, again, when I was in high school, it was actually contemporary,

Collin  37:23

as I say contemporary to when

Brandon  37:27

to circa 2000. So, that is around the time, I had bought my copy as well, like, it's one of those things like, my friend read it. And then like, I borrowed it, and then I guy, he bought one. And then I bought a copy that looks like a US books or something. So like, kind of how that you know how that goes. Right? And so I had it. And then like, I don't know, a long time ago, this somebody was like, oh, yeah, that's really good. That's crazy. You have that book? Can I borrow it? I was like, Yeah, sure. And then I never saw it. Like, they borrowed it. And then like, they moved in, it got lost somewhere. It's just been gone for a long time. And again, for years, like years, literally years now, right? Like, I've been going almost 15 years, I think we've been going, I should try to find another one of those. Right? But it's very out of print. It's not like expensive or anything. It's just like, annoying to find, right? And so I was just thinking about it the other day, and I was like, listen, now's the time. I'm gonna look, I found a used copy on Amazon. And I bought it just for basically nostalgia reasons. But I bought another not new, a new to me copy of mirth of a nation circa 2000. So a lot of this was probably funnier in 2000 than it is now. I haven't read through all of it yet. i It's fine. It's fine. Some of it still holds up. Some of it's still good. So I there's just some important things in here. For my like weird things that I reference a lot. Right things that I think about some stuff that stuck with me and it just like became part of my personality, I guess. So I needed to have it again just in my possession so that I could reference it some more. Because these are things that you cannot find outside of his book, places. So that's what

Collin  39:52

specifically so it's

39:56

it's a

Brandon  39:58

contemporary It's like 140 like little short essays, short essays

Collin  40:03

on just what was it? Was it America at the time? Or was it just on weird observations of culture? I

Brandon  40:10

think it's just kind of cultural observations and like weird things, right? So there's just like a bunch of, there's a whole section in the front about like submission guidelines and how these got to be in the book. I don't think I've read that I don't really care. But like I remember a lot of

Collin  40:32

the first time I hit ever because after you had read this copy this book, I had, then read it quite a bit. I remember it being a lot of again, I have not read this book in many, many moons over 20 years at this point probably am. It was the first time I'd read something that was like truly satire in the like, yeah, we're in the straight face straight faced presentation. The

Brandon  41:00

you know, the

Collin  41:03

spoofing of of different contexts, but you reading it, you really it was the first time I read something where I had to read the sub context, like of of what it was actually saying of like, just the face value is one read and then underneath that level is something else. It's definitely

Brandon  41:19

a read between the lines type read, right like you know, and again it when it was more topical, it probably made more sense to me right? Again, I have only read a few of the excerpts that I really remember about it, but like they're it's just yeah, it's it's so dry. Like it's all just like so steel like he's it's like stone faced satire. And the humor comes from just like reading it and be like what on earth like,

Collin  42:01

right off right off the bat. So I'm pulling up some images here and I'm getting some memories of this and I'm actually just reading through the submission guidelines of this this document here of like, of the words It says this is submitted gunfights generally all submissions should be typed double spaced, printed on paper, this paper should be recycled paper manufactured from at least 80% recycled post consumer recycled fiber. If your submission is printed on on recycled paper, it will be thrown out like it's like that's funny.

Brandon  42:35

And it's oh my goodness. It just brings you joy, like straight some of these are like just absurd, right? Like, would you read them? Like why does this exist? This doesn't. This is the goofiest thing of all time. But something about reading it like this way with the way that they write in their way some of these authors have have these people I've never heard of before ever. Some of them were like, you're like you're going through here like don't know this person don't know this person don't know this person. John Stewart. What? Like, yeah. Like you know, it's just, it's, yeah, I don't know. It was very important. For my, like, development, humor development, I suppose. Like, because I really like that. Dry satirical silliness, right? Like one of my favorites is the it's called the how and why book of magnets by Patricia marks. Oh, oh my gosh, just it's just the dumbest thing ever. But I love it so much. So much so that when people when somebody says the word magnet, my brain says, Well, is it a pineapple magnet? Banana magnet? What kind of like, oh my god because Yeah. Like, like, here's just a small excerpt from this. I'm not going to try to not try to get copyright strike here. But one of the things is it it's how do I book a magnets it's about Mike and Sue discovering magnets. It's like, it's like a it reads kind of like one of those like 50s Like, narrated infomercials was like now here is my like that you know what I mean? But it says, why are all magnets on referred? Why are all the magnets on refrigerator doors? There are magnets everywhere. In the air we breathe in the food we eat, even in our bathtub. Everyone else can see them. What's the matter with you? There'll be something wrong with your eyes, like yes. But like they just keep talking about how all magnets are pineapple, pear or banana shape. Like that's it like those are the three types of magnets. Like how do you make a homemade magnet? You take a compass, you smash it with a hammer. You've made a magnet. And they're like, oh, wow, homemade magnet like, oh, not so fast. It still has to be painted like a pineapple or paper or banana.

Collin  45:20

It's good. It's consistent. It's consistent in its absurdity. Yes.

Brandon  45:26

Ah. Oh my goodness. Yeah. How many kinds of magnets are there? Nobody knows how many kinds of magnets are there. But there are at least three magnet and the banana magnet. Some scientists think they're maybe 10 or 12 million or even more. Sometimes it's don't even care. It's Yes. That's my favorite thing ever. Patricia marks if you're listening. I don't know what you're doing when you wrote this. But I need you to know that this was a seminal in my development as a youth, so I'd like to thank you publicly here. Yes. Oh, yeah. That's that's kind of

Collin  46:17

where you, you just take that one concept. And you just you just stick with it right? And you just and you. You hold on to them so hard through the entire thing, and you never let go and you never release it. You never don't change. It's consistent. There are three types of magnets and not just are we going to consistently remind you of you of that to you because it's not just funny the first time it's actually funnier. The 11th time that you read that goes on for seven pages.

Brandon  46:45

Brilliant, like it's death. That's,

Collin  46:56

that's hard. That's you don't

Brandon  47:00

it's okay. I love it so much. The other one, of course, I have to mention is the one that I texted you a picture of, it was another very important. Like, weird inside joke. It was a lot. It was big inside joke between like me and my friend. And I know like you, and no one else in the world. Because it just it's so niche. And a viewer. Those are the only three people I know that ever read this. So I don't it's not there. Oh, I gotta I forgot about this one, the hidden life of rocks mastery now. But I of course talking about I'm trying to find the author here. I can't remember what page you're on. If only somebody had a bookmark that wasn't on the floor next to no, not in the book itself. That's terrible. Right. But it's called the Midwest. Where is it? Ah, right. This is so good that it has makes me so happy.

Collin  48:12

This was one of those again, what if this to stumble upon these things you get thrown into. It felt like being thrown into a larger conversation about something by Michael Feldman, that I didn't even know like, being in the Midwest, like, why would this even be a topic and it was so funny because of the lengths that they go to describe this? And and like it was like, like, it was this big controversy, like going on. And it was just getting being swept up into the middle of this conversation and this topic, this debate that's going on? And you're like, just sitting there going? What is happening? Why Why am I putting my nose on a map?

Brandon  49:02

It also, it also does breach a very important topic. Right? Is Ohio Valley in the Midwest?

49:12

Yeah, I don't I don't know. I

Brandon  49:14

don't know. I don't I don't know if if indeed as this as a claims, if the nexus of all things Midwest is Iowa. I think Ohio my far away

Collin  49:30

type of belt because when you you can't see it out of the corner of your eye, right? And you're down there and

Brandon  49:37

like, I feel like you know, when I was thinking about it, so this I read this and Susan read it. And then we started talking about regions of United States like earnestly slash humorously. Right? And like, we were debating. We she has different versions of what the Midwest is to me. And so we had to, you're stuck about this. Like where's Did you know? Right? Cuz she was like, you know, thinking about Kansas? It's like, no, no, this is the West. Yeah, right. It was prairies. Right? Dodge City, Kansas is literally the Wild West. So like, that's the West. Okay, that's not why it was there in the West, right? It's same, but like, Ohio and Pennsylvania fall into this like black hole of like, what are you? Uh huh. You go. Right. Like,

Collin  50:33

because people in the people in the Northeast don't want Pennsylvania? No, no. But people in the Midwest,

Brandon  50:41

it's technically like one of the 13 original states but like only a part of it. Yeah. Right. Like, like, half of us like only only don't even have like 1/5 of Pennsylvania.

Collin  50:55

Is one coast one say anyway. Yes. Do

Brandon  50:58

you think about like northeast? Right East Coast us like, you don't think about Pennsylvania? No, no. But then, you know,

Collin  51:09

it's too far away from the middle of the country. And so is like, yeah, Ohio falls into that as well. Oh, yeah.

Brandon  51:15

Like Ohio. Does it feel Midwest eat?

51:17

No, it does. No, I've

Brandon  51:18

never been to Ohio. So I can't really? I mean, I do know they have lots of quite you know, they have lots of corn still. So yeah. But like, that can't be the only qualifier. I don't otherwise like otherwise, you'd be like, Oh, Montana is the Midwest. That's true. I don't think South Dakota has Midwest. They have all the corn. Well, let's see her plain state or plenary.

Collin  51:40

Then we'll see I have that other distinction of the Upper Midwest, right of the, of the of the that's what I just saw that basically, that was everything north of Iowa. The upper mid where it's not rally,

Brandon  51:53

like Yeah, that's the hard part. Right. That's why again, that's what this argument that this satirical essay is making is like the word mid the title Midwest is the least helpful. moniker of all time, right? It's either mid nor west of anything. So like it was west of like, when the United States didn't pass the Appalachian Mountains that was the west right yes. Like Ohio was the West in like you know 1790 So it's that time as well with the ice I wouldn't put Dakotas in the Midwest. You know them they're just search our Prairie State. There are a great plains that that band from like, you know, the old Tornado Alley states right like North Dakota to Oklahoma in that northern bit of Texas that's all great plains eat right. That's that's not Midwest you know that's what I think I think that border like the Missouri Kansas border is the cut off there as well. And then it's so funny.

Collin  53:17

You look at Iowa

Brandon  53:17

and Nebraska out right, like no good. But see, that's all according to but

Collin  53:23

but that's what that's what a lot of people think of when they think Midwest they think that like Missouri, Iowa, Nebraska, Kansas, even I think even Oklahoma now. Throw it that as well. All the way up through the Dakotas.

Brandon  53:38

Now. Now see, I don't think so. I think I like Iowa. I agree that I was probably the nexus of all of this. Right. I believe it's like the most Midwest.

Collin  53:49

It is it needs to be Yeah. So

Brandon  53:51

Iowa. Right. I think Missouri. I know some people would probably argue with that. Because parts of Missouri start getting very southern. Right. But again, no, not not really grits here in Missouri. So still still not the South. Okay, it's outside. That's one way to know what's for breakfast. That's what

Collin  54:13

it's a good distinction. I think that that should be.

Brandon  54:16

Yeah, that's what this essay mentions at one point. I mean, I was like, You know what, that's a good. That's a good point. If you want to get grits, you're in the South. Okay. Like so I think we can firmly ensconce Arkansas in the South. Right. That's how that works. Like Missouri, Iowa, Illinois is definitely Midwest. Right. Having spent a lot of time in Illinois. Is 100%. Midwestern. Yes. Right. I would say I would say a lot of people when they think Midwest, I think what they actually think of as Minnesota. Right because if you like see people On the internet, talking about the Midwest, the accent that they are adopting is very Minnesota. And this is true, right? Yes. Or like Wisconsin? Yeah. Which they're not wrong. But like I'm saying that they're that's what they're the internet seems to stereotype. Minnesota and Wisconsin as the Midwest only, but they're like the northeast part of the Midwest.

55:28

They're the they're the Canada of the Midwest. Yeah.

Brandon  55:31

Right. So like, a little bit weird. I could see an argument for Indiana, although never been having been to Indiana either. I really can't say with 100% certainty. You know, isn't the end of the Midwest? Is it not? I don't know. Like so, is it? That's That's what I think. I think definitely. Like Minnesota, Wisconsin, Iowa, Illinois, Missouri.

Collin  56:11

Yeah, and then you kind of,

Brandon  56:12

I don't know what to do with Michigan. No, no, it's fine. Well, yeah,

Collin  56:18

they they get lumped in with Wisconsin most of the time anyway, even though they hate it. So that's true. That's their fault for living there. So they can like it's weird, because yeah, like, in my brain like, Michigan. It just it seems, it seems so far north that it can't possibly be in the Midwest, but it really, it's still really is but

Brandon  56:46

mainly from because from our perspective, Michigan is like northeast, right? Yeah, it's like, Ohio, right? This is gonna make people in Michigan angry. But I'll lump them in with Ohio here for a minute. Like they're just kind of over there. Like even though Ohio is even further east than Michigan, way over there. Like I don't know what to do and like what do you Yeah,

Collin  57:12

yeah. And then unfortunately, the from Dakota to Kansas, you just, you're like those those in my brain get lopped off too, because they're just you're right there. The planes right there. There's just nothing and then you get into the West.

57:28

Yeah. So

Brandon  57:30

this is weird, because like when you think about I was thinking about this, right? When you think about like, the West. When you think about like, so when I think about West, like many Americans, I think about like cowboy movies. Right? But all those cowboy movies take place in like, Texas, Kansas, Colorado,

Collin  57:55

right? Not not very few of them in in Idaho, or Wyoming?

Brandon  58:01

Like Jeremiah Johnson, maybe, but like, because like the cattle drives. We're going from Kansas to like, Texas. Yeah. That. So the West is actually just the Great Plains states. Everywhere between the Midwest and the Rocky Mountains is like the West. Yeah. You have the southwest, which is like Arizona, New Mexico. I guess a little bit of Texas. El Paso we park, right? Panhandle

Collin  58:38

navy. Panhandle is basically the extension of Oklahoma if you just like yeah, there's no reason

Brandon  58:43

it can't handle because the Panhandle is a top up our Amarillo Yes, yeah, but okay, basically from there over is like the Southwest because it all starts looking very late. Like I get started is getting to real deserty

Collin  58:58

as I say there's a preponderance of sand over there like real hardcore.

Brandon  59:01

Yeah. The tree start going away you go. What's happening?

Collin  59:07

This is this is not a place for life.

59:10

I shall be

Brandon  59:12

like, yeah, when you it's weird because you think about like the West like the Wild West, but actually what you're thinking of is like Kansas, which is odd. But that's what it is. It's Texas, of course, because you know, but like it is Texas, Oklahoma, Kansas, Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona. That's like the West. Right? And then like, the West Coast is like, oh, yeah, and California is over there. Like that's right. Didn't really that was really part because that was you know, still, like in Mexico technically. So that didn't work. Really? Yeah, that didn't become a thing until like John Steinbeck. Right. So Fine. Until the Great Depression. The West was just Kansas. But then everybody left the West to go more west, west or west or right. That's a very odd thing to think about. Right? Like it's not like, because I think about like, West I think about like John Wayne, right. That's why think about like Clint Eastwood movies, things like that. Those are all in like, weird places like Colorado or Kansas. Like that's kind of her brain to be like that, as you think about that. Like I said, that's the cow of the cattle drives were from all the great plains down to Texas. That's where all the races and stuff are currently still. So I guess Montana?

Collin  1:01:00

Well, that's where they wintered. Right? They would come up down there with the ranch hands would go back to the cattle in Montana, and then they drive them down. Yeah. Winter, because he

Brandon  1:01:10

wants to be in Montana in the winter. No, that's not fun. Now. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's very odd. Yeah. Regions sometimes

Collin  1:01:20

don't make sense. It turns out arbitrary regions are a little bit arbitrary. Yes.

Brandon  1:01:28

We will. We will work hard on over there to arbitrarily define the Midwest and as many values as possible so that you can find it. You're not confused. I feel like this is the this is the real over the road trip. We've been teasing.

Collin  1:01:43

Yes. differently. Identifying the boundaries to disambiguate the Midwest.

1:01:49

Oh, yeah. Okay, well, that's done or what are you doing

Collin  1:01:53

for spring break?

Brandon  1:01:54

Yeah, I think I just had my spring break, actually. Good point. But good point. I was breaking. Yes, this could be, this could be it. Oh, well, we

Collin  1:02:10

we had a little bit of the

1:02:14

actually, this is a perfect tie

Collin  1:02:15

in something that we got to do this week of the B part of the Midwest and the West and the cattle drives. We went out on a hike along the Katy Trail, which runs, which runs through Missouri. And it was where the cattle would be brought up from Texas into Kansas, and then over and up through our town on their way into Chicago to be processed. Yeah. And the Katy Trail was in that was the railroad, and then it was turned into the the hiking trail for everything. And so that is, is quite fascinating to me, to be to be part of that and to be talking through the history of that with the kids while we're walking on the trail. And like, trying to set the scene for what it would have looked like back then. And like what our town would look like, it was cool. We had to go into later a few days. A few days later, we had we went into a frame shop, to we had one of our picture frames fell and we went in to go see if we could find a picture frame. It turns out, she only does custom picture frames. And so we sat there politely for way too long, only to find out like the customer pay that we needed, it would be like $350.

Brandon  1:03:44

I was like, Well, I will do to get back with you.

Collin  1:03:51

But anyway,

Brandon  1:03:52

I can probably make you one for $20.

Collin  1:03:56

While we were there. In behind us, they had a map of what the town look like that it was actually drawn to try to attract people there it was it was an actual aerial shot, a drawing of the town from 1869 or something nice. Totally cool. And could we could actually see where the railroad was placed. How far west of the town was like, they weren't even out to where we were. And we're central in the town now,

1:04:28

which is much smaller, way smaller, which is

Collin  1:04:31

which is again, kind of cool. Like our little street didn't even exist, but we're pretty close. We're pretty much just like one or two streets away from the westernmost part of the map at that point. But explain to them like yeah, this is how the cat cows were brought into town as part of this. This is where the town grew up and why it was here. And now we're walking on this and and then as you walked along this trail. This is a part where we hadn't walked Before we actually driven around to get access to further spot from where we had previously bought the new part a new new. And that's when we started to see the telegraph poles

Brandon  1:05:10

that were literally trees. Yeah, right.

Collin  1:05:16

They were, they were just crossing Barton out to them with the crossbar nail to the it's exactly what they weren't. I was like, as soon as I saw it, I was like, Oh my gosh, you know, so I was like, I got really excited. And the kids and I went over there looking at him looking at some of them still had the original wire on him.

Brandon  1:05:33

That's crazy. There's just like, that's really weird, right? Like, yeah,

Collin  1:05:39

it's just, it's just there. It's just there. And how then it was kind of a neat, like, yeah, like this. And so at first the kids were talking about like, oh, so they they carried the electricity. And I was like, no, like, there was no, this was no, there's not four power lines. That's not what these. These were. So you could talk to each other with little beeps and boops basically over the wires,

Brandon  1:06:04

and, like, explain Morse code.

Collin  1:06:07

That's when I started to get to that point. I was like, no, no, wait a minute.

Brandon  1:06:16

It's like a telephone, but just with beeps.

Collin  1:06:19

Yeah, and dashes.

Brandon  1:06:23

And I. So that was kind of neat to describe,

Collin  1:06:27

like, Yeah, I think of our town, but with nothing there. And no power lights. And yeah, we all have to use gas lights. And. And then as we walked further along, we started to find discarded railroad ties, from whatever they had, they had just when they made this trail, they just they took the the tracks, obviously, those are not there anymore. But they just took a lot of the ties and tucked them over. I know those aren't original, those had to be replaced periodically over the course of that lifespan, but they're certainly

Brandon  1:06:58

pretty old, because that hasn't been used for quite a while.

Collin  1:07:07

To the Katy Trail was a while back, even, you know, from modern day so that the tracks it's at derelict for a very long time. So yeah, yeah, it wasn't, these weren't brand new ones. So that was kind of cool, too. We could go over we could, you can touch the railroad ties with the spikes driven in them and talk about the western expansion and how that influenced society and what it allows, you know, how the railroads came first and then the telegraph wires parallel those and then the power lines parallel those and we built up and out and expanded through. I was way more excited about this than everyone else on the walk with me. But I find it was neat. It was really neat to to see what we just that that history that's kind of off the beaten path.

Brandon  1:07:59

So the cool, this is sort of like there. And it's like, you could find it to look for it a little bit. Right. Like move the branch aside, but like, it's just there. It's really weird how that stuff is just like, oh, yeah, just laying there underground. Like, you know.

Collin  1:08:19

It's just a whiter, light. No worries. Yeah, I mean, I'm sitting here being like, how is this still here? Why is this not somewhere? Like, shouldn't this be shouldn't this be protected? or somebody's looking after this? Like,

Brandon  1:08:32

how is this? Yeah, yeah, you think some of it, but I mean, some of that stuff. Like there are pieces of that railway. in museums around there's just like, there was just so much railway that. Yes, yeah, museums have some, but the rest of it's like that. Yeah. All right. We're just gonna leave it here. I guess.

Collin  1:08:55

We don't want to literally railroad Hey, no, everywhere, right. There was not a there was a lot of it. So it was cool to see out still in the trees and still standing.

Brandon  1:09:08

And just have that conversation that some of those telegraph poles still have wires hanging on. That's the part that I was like, like, wow, that was I know. It's crazy. Like just hanging out in the woods. Wire on stuff. Yep. Is there Yeah, just

Collin  1:09:34

strung up. So yeah, I was Yeah, I thought was pretty cool. And then a few of them still had the

Brandon  1:09:42

the insulators on the poles to glass insulators. Yeah, okay.

Collin  1:09:49

Have Been there for 100 or more years here at this point, like hanging out in tree That's cool. Yeah, that was cool. And then and then we spent the rest of our time painting, painting the house, which has not been Oh, yeah, fun. Super fun. So if if the if the sound in here sounds a bit echoey it's because I've had to remove panels from the office to paint them to paint and patch holes. And it stalled out. We like busted I think like over the course of three and a half days, we got Lily's room, nose room, our room in the hallway, mostly done. And then we turned our attention to the bathrooms and was like

Brandon  1:10:39

what if I don't want to? Because what's a lot more like painting around stuff? Oh, yes.

Collin  1:10:45

It's much more intricate. It's a smaller space on a detail.

Brandon  1:10:49

Yeah. Yeah. Hey, behind the toilet. That's a pain. Yeah, it's like super annoying. Not looking forward to that. And the other thing is, is I'm

Collin  1:11:00

repainting the left edge around the bathtub and the shower. And yeah, and so but where ours is, it needs to be re cocked. And so now I've got to know No, no, that was like, as soon as I was like, I have to go get a coffee. Kaka Oh, oh, no.

Brandon  1:11:21

It breaks his stride real hard. And stuff like that comes up, right? Like, you're driving along. You're doing okay, you're persevering. And then like, Oh, but I have to do this. And then you just like, Go done. I'm out. I can't like

1:11:38

so I

Collin  1:11:40

went around the edge of the tub and the the shower and scraped some paint that was kind of chipping and flaking, give it off. And I was patching some little holes and getting that prepped and it's all dry now and but now now I'm at that point where I'm going. I don't want to have to try and reseal the caulk and the gun, right? Because it never comes out again. Well, no. So that means that I have to go at both bathrooms to do this. However, I also know how I am where I'm going, okay, like if I need to reseal around the bathtub. I probably need to reseal other stuff in the bathroom as well. So I'm I'm like eyeing the caulking around the sinks, and, and some other places. And I'm like, I guess I just need to tackle all of this and just get it done in a day and not and not bother. But then I'm like what I am doing. So you.

Brandon  1:12:41

You stop?

Collin  1:12:46

That's yeah, that kind of ground me to a screeching halt.

1:12:52

Yeah, that'll do it. That'll, unfortunately.

Brandon  1:12:55

So Alas, alas we are, we will persevere. Yeah, but that it's hard to get back going when you have this. Like, you're like doing something you kind of already don't want to do. And then you get a bunch of obstacles. Slap that in front of you. And you're like, No, no, no, no, no, no, I'm good. Thanks. I'm done.

1:13:17

Yeah, yeah.

Brandon  1:13:19

And the unfortunate part is like then where it's really hard to get started again. And you have to because you've already started, right. And it's really hard and not motivating at all to like, restart, like that whole thing.

Collin  1:13:33

It's not and we have the paint all sitting here and we have it's like everything's out and ready to go. And I just I'm, I'm really need to continue pushing on that because otherwise nothing will happen.

Brandon  1:13:53

Good luck. Thanks. That doesn't sound very fun. But good luck. Now

1:14:09

Oh, I thought

Brandon  1:14:12

earlier, I thought of a potential challenge for next week if you're interested.

1:14:17

Okay, gang.

Brandon  1:14:21

Since I was moaning about school so much, and I talked about school all the time, blah, blah. What about top five movies set in a school?

Collin  1:14:32

Oh, okay.

Brandon  1:14:34

Like, at least partly like, then the whole thing doesn't have to happen there, obviously. But like, top five best movies that happen.

1:14:43

And it's cool. I like this.

Brandon  1:14:47

Boom. I was thinking about that. I was like, Oh, that'd be fun to be talking about so much. And I was moaning about it earlier. This will be a way to segue in some polarity to He thought about this and I thought I could only think of two movies off top my head. I was like, Okay, I'm gonna put to working on this because I am struggling but I think he could potentially be funny. top five, top five favorite movies where the school is setting a major setting. Okay.

Collin  1:15:21

I look forward to this. All right, and tackling this. Okay. We will. We will look forward to over come up with

Brandon  1:15:33

all right. See

Collin  1:15:37

on some of you watching.

1:15:38

Yeah. Probably be listening anyway. Oh, yes, yes, absolutely. Of course.

Collin  1:15:44

No watching No, no movies will actually watch for this challenge.

Brandon  1:15:47

Because you're gonna paint the bathroom. So I mean, I couldn't know this. That's true. You know,

1:15:54

okay. Do you think that's good? Okay. Well, we'll we'll do that next time, already. Okay, love you.

Brandon  1:16:02

Love you.

1:16:04

Bye bye.