transference is real

What started off as a simple question, “Sports or nah?” takes a surprising turn as the boys get deep on finding your identity and what it means to accept that it’s ok to change your mind. They discuss knowing who you are but also who are you not and the role teachers and educators play in helping students find their way. But, as this is very important, they didn’t talk about politics so that’s good.

  • Snow!!

  • My Hero Academia

  • Coach watching

  • “Sports”...or nah…

  • Caw-caw blue jays

  • The Olympics are so awesome 

  • Don’t mix the World Cup and coffee

  • Good and bad of sports 

  • Too seriously though

  • Where is your identity?

  • Dangerously close to politics…

  • Swung it back to finding your identity!

  • Middle and high schoolers

  • Shut up and listen when kids express interest in something

  • Don’t be the reason a kid loses interest in something they love

  • Transference is real

  • Let’s talk about changing our minds

  • Cory Wong

  • You can change who “you are”

  • Who you are vs who you are not?

  • Brandon is indescribable

Check out our other episodes: ohbrotherpodcast.com

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A VERY ROUGH TRANSCRIPT OF THE EPISODE

PROVIDED BY OTTER.AI

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

sports, watch, people, game, talking, coach, college, love, basketball, big, identity, world, play, literally, year, baseball, kids, fun, football, life

 

Collin  00:05

Welcome to Oh, brother, a podcast of three brothers trying to figure it all out with your hosts, Brandon, Collin and Aaron. On this week's show, transference is real. Hello.

 

00:26

Hello.

 

00:28

What's going on?

 

00:30

I just loaded in

 

00:36

here No.

 

Collin  00:41

So how much snow do you have? That's a real question. Yeah,

 

00:46

we didn't get hardly any which is Oh man, we

 

Collin  00:49

got it all this time.

 

00:52

Oh man, it's

 

Collin  00:53

everywhere. Yeah. And it really is. It's so it's like snowed on and off all day but like

 

01:03

little padded, right, like

 

Collin  01:05

a little bit like little tiny flurries not doing anything.

 

01:10

And then

 

Collin  01:12

like this morning, it snowed quite a bit. Yeah. And then, I mean, it was like big, heavy, thick snow. And but it didn't last very long. And all day randomly, just from like, little teeny tiny snowflakes. little teeny tiny snowflakes. Oh, no. We got home at like 435 o'clock, and it's like Blam. Now here's the real like, holy cow. It's still snowing. So like, seriously?

 

01:38

Yeah. I don't know. Like, I don't know.

 

Collin  01:42

I think it's led up a little bit. But earlier I looked outside it was still very snowy. So adventure dog has decided that today is not the day for adventuring. He still doesn't like snow turns out,

 

01:53

but I'm certainly not poor guy.

 

Collin  01:57

He was like, it's not the snow. It's the wind. I think it's so today's was like 20 plus mile an hour winds like all day.

 

02:06

Yeah, not great.

 

Collin  02:07

So he was like, Huh, no, I don't think so.

 

02:14

Like, I don't know exactly what his deal is currently. Like,

 

Collin  02:23

maybe it's a combination of the medicine and the new food or whatever, but like, yeah, ever since we got back from God's house. He's like, we're just gonna keep walking now. Oh yeah. Yeah. He after school he's been going on like way long walks like all way longer with Susan and stuff. So he's been gone places like let's go here to here. He's all about it. So this week's been he's been doing great. Like running, like running around not running, but like walking slightly faster. He did run a little bit the other day, but that was because like, it was our walk right before supper. And on the way back. He was like, Huh, let's go faster, though. Cuz I know they're suffering. I know what leads me right. Yeah, he's been going down like up to the that like herb depot building. It's like up the road from us. He's like going up there saying, Yeah, there's like that field back there. He's been like they've been going into the field a little bit like right next to it. Not the one like a little like the yard next to that building. Because there's a field there but it's like all harvested so it's like all sticky and stuff. You know. He's been going out there hanging out, wandered around in the grass up there sniffing around the fence stuff. Crazy. What the heck is this dog? He's so we've been referring to it as the adventure dog. So he's gonna tell us now. He's like, I'm not that adventurous. I will actually actually change my mind.

 

04:09

Yeah.

 

Collin  04:11

He's like, Okay, my inventory only goes so far. And now right. I'm done. Oh. Well, that's good. Yeah, it's been really I'm impressed. I'm proud of him. I'm happy that he's been getting around a little better. So

 

04:27

yeah, it's good news.

 

Collin  04:31

letting him go and do his thing.

 

04:32

So do the walking I'll help him. You know, keep his old legs working.

 

04:39

Right, like,

 

04:40

keep gotta keep moving. That's for sure. Yeah,

 

04:43

that's true. That's good. That's my excitement.

 

04:49

What's up.

 

Collin  04:50

I like that excitement for sure. Good

 

04:53

adventure dog excitement.

 

Collin  04:57

Speaking of adventures, Aaron are you?

 

05:01

I am on the tired side,

 

Collin  05:05

saying Mr. Dreier, I'm all over Oklahoma

 

05:09

yesterday was was tedious. So just driving of having to drive literally the entire length of my county and other counties starting to crack down. People have just signed this form, please stay in one place. And then today, I initiated three different investigations which on a normal day you do like and ended up?

 

05:40

Right. Seems high. Yeah.

 

05:42

Ito? The deal is. Tulsa County has been slammed us County. Yeah. I've been quoted quote as so to help compensate. Oh, we get some of those cases. Yeah. So yeah, I was like, in my way, Southwestern Tulsa. And I was like, oh, I've never been here before. Hello. So yes, I did. I did three separate cases today. And I got home at like, right at my dad at like five o'clock. Like, boom, right on the money walk through the door. But I was out and about and like, I'm back with my supervisor, and then I was gone. So that's what Aaron did today. I cannot tell you what I've done the past week. As far as like work goes. We had dinner with Kelly's mom was last week. I'm here on my office. Did I do anything? I do that now. I'm kind of been that's been watching a lot of my Hero Academia. on Hulu is it is one of my new favorite shows that it's very hard to watch, like after, like on a workday because we can sit and watch like a whole season. But it's like whoa, 11 o'clock, we should probably stop.

 

Collin  07:44

Well, luckily, there's like 12 million episodes of that.

 

07:48

So we've been doing that. And another kind of thing that I've weirdly started to enjoy is what it during this time, after college football ends, there's like a whole big explosion of, you know, inquiries and conundrums of, you know, college, you know, football coaches of who's going to go where it is. It's a new favorite, like pastime of mine, so I can actually like watching the shuffle, right? Like it's so weird to like, you know, getting in like, you know, people in Dallas, you know, analyzing things and I've all I I wouldn't want them to go there. Oh, that's great. You went there. That's pretty easy. It's it's a whole like you need and I the past several years I've I've watched you know, the college football, carousel and coaches going into the NFL or coaches being moved around and college football or just like college sports in general. No big name hires people have never heard of before. It's it's truly fascinating. of just seeing how that world transpires like how like, it is like on a daily basis that people like us pleadians though, see, I've been transfixed the past like week or two on, you know, teams I don't even care about you know, people like oh, that person's going there. Oh, I need to look him up. Oh, this is this. Oh, that's crazy. So that's been my last two weeks of, of watching my here academia and watching coaches be moved back and forth. places all over the world. So that's been my, my enjoyment for the last week.

 

Collin  09:47

Well, it's a whole nother layer of the landscape, right? Because it's like, because there's the one layer especially with college sports, like oh, who is who is going to sign With what school like what High School player is gonna go there, what is that team doing around there? But then like, he said, then there's this whole other level of well, who's the coach? Can it be? Because that makes a big difference at the collegiate level. Right, the coach makes a big difference, because those those are people are still learning the sport still developing like athletically. So the coach is a big deal now is, as a coach a big enough deal to be the highest paid public position in literally every state and yes, no, no, I

 

10:36

don't disagree. Yes. Gandhi is a deity, you cannot change our mind is a demigod. Um, yeah. You know, I like

 

Collin  10:48

some perspective here. I think this last year is put, maybe put in some somewhat more people, not everybody, obviously. But like, you know, I couldn't live my life without

 

11:00

a sport in it.

 

Collin  11:03

It's it doesn't really affect my daily life, whether or not basketball is happening. Sorry, LeBron, I don't care about you. They go, hot take but like, literally don't care. Like, it doesn't matter to me, if you player and I have to do my own thing, and I have to worry about my own stuff. I don't care what you're doing. Just like, he doesn't care about me. He never even heard of me before. So like, why would he care about me? Same thing, right? Like, there's that, but just on the further like, the fan aspect. Like, it's interesting, when you think about

 

11:38

because I like, I don't

 

Collin  11:40

like to watch college football as like, I'm only gonna watch this one team play football.

 

11:48

Right? It's not

 

Collin  11:51

very interesting to do that, in my opinion. Like, I don't like that I like, again, cuz I'm like a

 

11:57

macro.

 

Collin  11:59

Or that macro level guy, right? Like, I like the big overall landscape of things. So like, yeah, I kind of agree that stuff is mildly interesting, because I like to see the whole landscape of like,

 

12:11

the whole thing. Right?

 

Collin  12:13

Right. And how it works and how it plays out, which is why the playoff has been marginally more interesting than the old like BCS, like we're gonna arbitrarily rank you number two, like what? What? Why? Why would you why like, cuz we can't, because you have to now consider, like, a whole huge landscape of like, way more teams a much more intricate dynamics of stuff. So yeah, yeah, on that level is more interesting. So I can see that I can see why you're fascinated by that.

 

12:48

Is so like in in some in some programs, like University of Arkansas, which we can all agree hasn't been good in? quite some time. You're in Arkansas.

 

Collin  13:04

Yeah. Okay. Do we need to talk about how long ago Darren McFadden played for Arkansas?

 

13:09

Ah,

 

Collin  13:10

that was a long time ago. That was like 2009

 

13:19

Um, yeah. I I remember, who was it? Um, Kyle ruder. He texted me one day, because he went to Arkansas. And he's like, Dude, this weird goes on my class. I'm like, huh? And then like, while laters like, Dude, it's bad. He's totally my science class. Oh, my gosh. Um, but, like, last year, after Arkansas had a kind of a dismal season. They hired like, some, like, he's not really a no name coach. I just, I never really heard of him. But my name is Sam Pittman. And, you know, everyone was just kind of like a Okay, hire, but like me, he's hasn't turned the program around, like, competing for like, the national title or anything. But is is now one of those programs that's more respectable. It, you know, produces, you know, good players, you know, at a competitive, competitive look. And it kind of feels like, you know, the oh my gosh, did I forget his name? Bill Snyder at K state. Like, he, you know, he was, you know, the, the people in the sports world who are like how many? No, it's not really like a, like a sexy hire or anything, but it's, you know, it's a it's a good hire. And so it's just like people, you know, it's like, oh, you know that I can really compete for the national championship, but a lot of people they're not really in it for that. It's literally to develop, you know, good players, and, you know, good people to get to them. Next level, or whatever, And to me, that's interesting. There's all people I got, we got to win a national championship. It doesn't

 

Collin  15:07

matter because guess who's gonna win the national championship next year? Oh, that's Alabama. There we go. Done.

 

15:13

Surprise. It's just one of the things that is, you know, fascinating to see. I've just been caught up with with that for the past, like week or two of just like, and then seeing you know, people's reactions, like, oh, why don't you believe who they hired? I'm like, No, I had no idea. Like, really? You know? Yeah. So to me is, it's that aspect of it of how like, just a complete, utter new world it is that like, Oh, these coaches are being paid How much? And so that's just been my little fork this week of, oh, what is he doing that?

 

Collin  15:57

That's pretty cool. But yeah, I will say that. I do like that macro level and like the dynamic stuff, but I, I found the last several years, I've just been watching, like isolated games like reverting because, like, every year, they just only ever talk about the same five teams. And so it becomes, at a certain point, it becomes rather uninteresting. Like, Oh, no, which of these same three teams are gonna

 

16:25

play again? Like,

 

Collin  16:27

I don't care? Yeah, it gets boring. Right? Like it. It's to me, like, if it's just the same people competing for the top level and winning all the time. It's not interesting anymore. Like, why would I want to watch this team? Basically, you know, like, when I heard that it was gonna be Ohio State, Alabama, and I was like, Alabama's gonna win.

 

16:54

Why would I watch it? Like, it's

 

Collin  16:58

not even worth it. Like, at a certain point, when you when you like, know too much about it, you're like, Okay, well, that's boring. Because it is the same, like consistently. Now that's good for those programs. I get it, right. That means they're doing good things. And they're doing stuff. But like, it also tells me that the disparity across the collegiate landscape is vast, right? And so like, it's not interesting, when it's just the same four or five teams every year, in the top five spots every time. And like, almost always the same one wins, like, wow.

 

17:35

Why?

 

Collin  17:35

I mean, it's good. If you're an Alabama fan, I guess if you live in Alabama, you're just like, this is the greatest decade of my life. But like,

 

17:44

for me,

 

Collin  17:45

as like just a sports fan who likes to see differing outcomes. Like it's just really boring. It's like when the Yankees used to win like every single year in baseball, like,

 

17:55

yeah, who cares? The boring?

 

Collin  18:00

Is it like dynamic or drama at my sport? And like, Oh, look, it's the same team won again.

 

18:09

To me, we never really like I say we, I guess I don't know if I'm more of a sports fan out of the family. Like we never like grew up like in a true like, Missouri is like a powerhouse or anything but like, we didn't really grow up in an area that was like diehard Cardinals or, I mean, whenever

 

Collin  18:33

everywhere, Missouri is diehard Cardinals, except for Kansas City, right? That's how it is. But again, for a long time, the cartels kind of like,

 

18:40

not good, right? Yeah. Only like

 

Collin  18:46

what they won that one was I was like, 18 or 19 when they won again. And then after that, one, they started becoming much more relevant for a few years. Right. Then it was like, oh, Martin McGuire. Okay. But like, you know, actually, a topic that I have written down on a topic is sport go on it. The topic that I wrote down actually is just boring. or not, is

 

19:23

it's I guess, it kind of depends, right? Like, on

 

19:30

what you mean by sports like a because, like to own a play sport? No. Absolutely not. Like,

 

19:39

not, I don't have that. Like, innate drive to like, when,

 

19:48

you know, I don't care and whatever, like you lost, okay, fine. That's fine.

 

Collin  19:52

I'm whatever,

 

19:53

like. So like,

 

Collin  19:56

I don't know, I would say that I'm like a competitive person. Kinda. But like,

 

20:03

if I lose, that's

 

20:06

fine matter. Like, there are some sports that I enjoy

 

20:11

watching, I guess. But like,

 

20:17

I don't know if I would consider myself like traditional sports like I don't wear I don't paint my face.

 

Collin  20:23

You don't? Right. I don't do that, like somebody else in this group conversation currently. I've seen the pictures. Okay. I think I saw your TV once, but I can't be sure. I mean, everybody had orange faces. So yeah. Everybody has an orange face. Does anybody have an orange face?

 

20:55

Ah, ah,

 

Collin  20:57

I mean, I don't know,

 

20:58

maybe. And like, I am also

 

Collin  21:04

I don't. I don't like to watch live sports generally. Because I also find them very boring. Especially professional sports live yawn, like every five seconds like and commercial break. And I will just like stand there. Like, what?

 

21:21

Why

 

Collin  21:22

this stinks, man. So I liked watching live sports when I knew people playing and like high school in college. And then after that, I was like,

 

21:32

Okay. I don't like that environment.

 

Collin  21:35

I thought like, I would be really loud and scream all the time. Like, yeah. No, I don't want to do that. That's not like how I watch things. Because I think I watch things like more.

 

21:49

Like, I watched them for the

 

Collin  21:52

like that. I don't know what the word to describe it. The technical aspect of the sport that I'm watching, I appreciate that a lot.

 

22:02

You know.

 

Collin  22:03

And so that's the point I want to see until like, screaming and yelling and carrying on is not really what I do. Unless of course I'm at like, high school or like the middle school basketball games that I go watch. I like hoop it up for the kids because they like it and all their parents are sitting there like you suck the RAS garbage. So I try to interject some positivity into the atmosphere. Very rarely. That was awesome. And all the parents are like

 

22:29

that refs trash?

 

Collin  22:32

What do you do it like screaming at their kids or play basketball wrong? Like

 

22:35

they're 12? Stop it. Of course, they're

 

Collin  22:40

playing basketball wrong. Like, of course, of course, it's kind of this whole process. There learn. Yeah, so like that. That's the encouraging side of my fandom comes out in like, way to go get up, you know, like that kind of because not me in that time. Because I feel like I need to overpower them. And I can because I'm so loud. But like, I

 

23:03

kind of can't help you.

 

Collin  23:04

I like to watch like, the technical aspect of it. Right?

 

23:07

I think that is

 

Collin  23:09

like that part is not as fun for me in a live environment cuz I was just like screaming, spilling beer on things.

 

23:15

I'm like, I'm boring. So

 

Collin  23:18

that's kind of where I stand. And then we can talk about what sports we'd like I guess after this, but what are your thoughts?

 

23:25

Well, I'm probably not the best person to ask this since I was a coach.

 

23:32

Because we're allowed to have different opinions.

 

23:34

So So trying to get you know, and also trying to be a coach literally. That's what I was talking about last week is I literally applied to be a coach and a teacher again, so nice to meet so in high school, I don't know if you know this. I wasn't the best at sports. Like I was in them. And I did all the things like I was in football, baseball, you know, all that stuff, but I just wasn't like, good. And for the longest time. I didn't really have like, especially in high school. I did not have like will people call like the athletic mentality of you know, this is my sport. That was my thing. I'm going to do this. But like being coaching them definitely brought a new perspective in, in sports to me because like, when I was younger, I was in high school, I hated going to basketball. I hated them. I didn't load them. I just hated having to go to a basketball event. Instead sitting there and Google basketball so to me basketball is not fun. Now again with Brandon, like when I was a teacher like going to I guess like, granted fifth grade basketball terrible. But yes, there's always going to end up being there for my kids like, was really, really fun. Like if they don't get a high school game.

 

Collin  25:14

Again, I only want high school games when I was in high school and like, nobody, it was like a social thing. It was fun. Like, I don't wanna watch another high school.

 

25:25

I was like, I love doing like jazz that like, especially in college, like, jazz band was amazing. To be in. And so, like, some sports for me, like I can, if you if you said, Hey, you want to go to like, a sports bar, and just like, watch sports, and we're going to do that. I'm also very weird, like, sometimes I'll just like go and watch like a game. And then I'll be like, Okay, I'm done. And I'd like to leave. so forth to me is like, something that is used, especially for a small town, or, you know, kids to have an outlet to find a way to you know, get out of that small town to you know, go and, you know, make something to to kind of that escape and so that's what we use a lot, especially coaching a small town and seeing that aspect of life. We literally have no other option of getting out of town and no to coach or to play. know, somebody if you offered me tickets to go to like a professional basketball game. I'll be like, this is a sign okay. I've been to college football games. The only exception to you know, my deep dog for basketball would be going to Oklahoma State basketball games. I don't know if it's just something about the arena or what it is just being so different. Like if you're like a let's go watch, you know, Oklahoma City Thunder. Yeah, okay. I'm the kind of person that can go and sit and watch professional baseball game. Now. That's what I loved it.

 

27:21

I could not that long at all.

 

27:23

No other professional like, it like NFL game. Heck, yeah. I could sit there and watch out for hours. Like a college baseball, like we can, like Shelby myself went to an O u baseball game like last year. And just just because because the tickets were cheap. And we also have like the Tulsa drillers semi professional team here, which are like, really fun to watch. Weirdly. So So for me, being a being a former. You know, varsity athlete, I can tell you why it was inexperienced. What I do to get in high school. Absolutely. But I am much more comfortable in the coating aspect of like, Ooh, that was hard. I'm just gonna sit here in so yeah. That's my mic. Yeah.

 

Collin  28:26

I'm just gonna say that I think it makes sense that you even though you like prepared my high school basketball thing, like, it makes sense that you have that you want to watch Oklahoma's state basketball because you have a connection to Oklahoma State. You went there. Right? So it's like, a thing. It's like a whole thing. Have you like more familiar with like that specific even that specific like culture of it because American college sports are weird and like, every every single one has a unique cultural aspect about that campus. Right? Is your you were immersed in that for a long time and you were familiar with it. It's kind of like it has a familiarity that's like, ah,

 

29:07

weird like, aspect of that kind of fandom because I don't know if it was just growing up in Missouri, like I've seen how Mizzou fans are. And I don't know if there's just

 

Collin  29:21

not pleasant that's that's how it is.

 

29:25

But to me, like I've seen like the over diehard like FireWire, or Mizzou fan, we're always gonna weigh in on like

 

29:35

completely unfounded confidence.

 

29:40

A lot of a lot of them do that, like they're like a super like hardcore, like I'm bleed crimson and cream or, you know, a lot of fans that I know. Yeah. So, like to me like, I love wearing Oklahoma State. I graduated there but as being as like, you know, someone comes in If someone comes up to me and they're Oklahoma State stuff, like go have a good day like I just don't I'm super diehard fan, because I've seen those people. I've been to Bedlam, which is an experience in itself. Going to the Oh, you are you OSU game like football is just an incredible experience I have been to that I've seen people like scream at each other like in the parking lot like guys, the game hasn't even started yet. This is, you know, 11 o'clock in the morning. I'm a little tired. So I gotta know, I don't really want to deal with this right now. But so I said that the diehard fans that I've seen is just different different breed and a lot of that kind of turned me off from sports. Initially, and then you know, I went to Oakland state I'm gonna go, there's some people that aren't like absolutely crazy. Okay, I can do this. Oh,

 

Collin  31:00

yeah, that's true. I was wondering. Yeah. Especially like with the unfounded like,

 

31:06

swagger,

 

Collin  31:07

right. Like, you know, I was at a game one time, and it was at a hockey game. Right. And I would like to see as

 

31:17

that's a different field. And

 

Collin  31:19

more on that later, when we get back to what we like to watch. But like, I was what we went to St. Louis to watch. The Blues play the Red Wings, because the Red Wings were my favorite hockey team for a long time. Yeah. And the wings lost. And you know, but it's a midseason game, no cares. And so I was like, it was fun to watch, you know, and some dude was like, yeah, take that waves. You're terrible. And I was like, the blues have literally never won anything at this point in history. That was like, a few years later, they want something but like, at this point in time, they had one nothing ever, ever in the history of ever and he was all like, yeah,

 

31:57

like, dude, calm down. Because I it definitely was a completely different environment. So I, I went to northeastern Oklahoma a&m, who at the time was not good in anything, baseball and volleyball. I think maybe my first year there for college, like me being in band. One and nine, maybe ish, like in football, but in my, my

 

32:29

sophomore year of high school, it was,

 

32:32

but the atmosphere that the band created, it always made it feel like you're such a close game, even though we got blown out like 60 to nothing. But a lot of those things, were always just fun to experience. And then when going to Oklahoma State, we weren't like, you know, going to make you know, the year before I went to OSU 2011 1112 where they're literally like making your own for the national championship like that's different. But you know, being like, Oh, yeah, we win some games. But yeah, the whole atmosphere and no, did not prepare me for the you know, athletic atmosphere had Oklahoma State

 

Collin  33:15

is a quite a different level. Right? Like, yeah,

 

33:17

I just, I just remember how like, unique It was like, oh, oh, this is what we're doing. Okay.

 

Collin  33:23

I nobody, nobody was like screaming

 

33:27

at me. Yeah, that's that's also the code who can who pulled off a mullet for a few years? You know, nobody pulls off a mullet

 

Collin  33:42

tight right now I'm going to record and they can't stop me again. Oh, no. Whoever whoever told you mullets are cool.

 

33:51

Lady did know. Anyway, so like that, that transition of going from? Logan rogersville. So when my when I was a senior, being good in football, being good in basketball, like oh, yeah, that is awesome. And like, oh, we're terrible at everything. Okay. So that that was, you know, a different experience a min backhoe and it was also really fun just just being in the pep band because we were set up like right behind the opposing teams bench. And so it was just mostly just like screaming at an all time so that was fun. But like, I've seen, you know, I remember when I was a bartender and a bouncer at Eskimo Joe's and it was in a one bedroom and these two guys just like in the little entryway just started getting into it. Oh you shows right now Oklahoma State suck. Guys, it's one o'clock the game doesn't start till six. We're fine and I literally broke Come up like, I mean, we all agree Texas. Yeah you right and then there's like went on their way so that it comes around you're right so i, i i've heard that as being an experience and these are people who aren't aren't afraid to fight in like a parking lot at like there's kids like JV football game on that night. This is a hardcore sporting events and then always says hi by the way. I said hi. Yeah. And so it was just like decision wise Was it a good idea to go to a homestay? Probably not. But it was still like a fun unique experience. Now I have a friend that went to the University of Alabama and that's an entirely different breed of human beings. My friend Collin and Murray if you're listening to this, love you You're different animals down there in a good way, in a good way, but yeah, I just it was it's, it's unique talking with someone especially from the SEC. to like, you know, the big 12 aka me, my cousin uncle who's really good at football, you know, if you want to ask a championship, my team like 43

 

36:34

counts counts as on the wall.

 

36:36

Yeah, yeah. So, um, but yeah, like to me, like if you say I am Shelby's brother Riley we literally drove up to Missouri. Watch Missouri State football homecoming with Oh, what is this face? We talked about on the podcast used to be coach of the University of Arkansas. No problem Katrina of Gil Maddie. He's He's coaching at Missouri State. We went up there and watched him and we drove back. You know it's on me and myself have a list that we want to go to all of the you know, baseball sporting comp like baseball stadiums. Which call in when you live in Dallas, like we never took Yeah, hold on. We want to do Oh, like everywhere, all of them. Everywhere.

 

37:31

No. lofty goal even

 

37:33

even the ones in Canada. Yeah.

 

Collin  37:35

I want to go there.

 

37:42

When Collin when Collin lives. When Collin was in Dallas. He said, Hey, when you come down, tell me research. I'll take to a game. What did I do about a Texas Rangers hat and a Texas Ranger shirt. I got all excited had my little kid it. And this was like a few years ago. I was in my 20s so I was driving down. You're in your 20s

 

Collin  38:05

two weeks ago.

 

38:07

And

 

38:13

I can't I can't go to a Rangers game. So but yeah, like even like I I don't like the Dallas Cowboys. I'm a cheese fan. But like, if I was like Buta Dallas game, I would have bought a cowboys hat and march my happy self down there just to sit in the stadium and watch and again it could have been you know, patriots and cowboys I don't care like football fire. But if you're like hey, let's go watch you know curling or something. Nick Yeah.

 

Collin  38:59

Side note if you're gonna go to every baseball state your apparently your mo is you're going to have a lot of hats by the end of this trip because okay. required to dress the part to go

 

39:14

first of all feeling really attacked right now. And well, I also made the rules last joke slash decree that every college campus I visit, I want to have it. And so in my little storage thing over there, I have a hat from almost every college campus budget that is either a B as a a students or just passing through or like when when Colin lived in Dallas. I can't remember what road it was. But it took you right by northern Texas University. I remember driving down the first time and I said I want to have from there. And then I just never formed I it was it was a great one of the greatest regrets of my life. I gotta say, I'm not proud of that moment. vortexes if you're listening, sorry. You know what I'm talking about?

 

Collin  40:09

So it's called a certain talk for 40. Boy, Collin. Oh, yeah, you know me. All the sports. No, I think this question to me like, I, we've talked about what it means to be a fan in the past, right? And so,

 

40:25

yes. So for me,

 

Collin  40:28

I, I was just like, flat out, never interested in sports,

 

40:35

of any kind, for any reason

 

Collin  40:39

ever, like, it just never hooked me, I didn't matter what it was. And I flash forward to, I respect it like, except for like, the Olympics. Like, for some reason, when it was the Olympics, it was much more of a spectacle. It was high density packed, well edited footage of going jump to jump to jump to jump on the skis, you know, that kind of stuff. But it never it up until, you know, the Olympics are now you know, I can watch Formula One. And some of those sports, I guess some of these more like global pain of sports, not just so American centric. But growing up, I had no interest in baseball, or basketball, or football or any of that. I just, it was always very boring to me. And I guess maybe possibly that was because I was never able to connect with it. I know. I don't know, I know, many people connect with sports on a lot of different levels. You know, people connect with it. And you can correct me if I'm wrong, depending on what I'm saying here. But like, there's the like, technical aspect of like, Oh, it's their, what they're able to do is really cool. And then there's like the strict strategizing around it. Were they able to put it in the plays and like, that aspect is interesting to people then there's the Oh, like, I, I want to be able to do that. Or I was able to do that. And then there's like the camaraderie like when a lot of times, people go and they watch, they sit down when they really mean I'm going to watch football it code for I'm going to spend time with family. Or I'm going to Yeah, or like hanging out with my friends or whatever. Yeah, yeah. So there's like, all these different aspects of it. And for whatever reason,

 

42:22

you know, none of that ever clicked.

 

Collin  42:27

For me around for me around sports. Like, you know, we didn't grow up as a family of watching sports unless you were with me and you were watching golf for whatever reason you were forced to do that. One sport more important are watching baseball. They found one right. Well, okay, you got cricket. Right. Cricket is in there, unfortunately. Now, no, I disagree. Mostly because I don't want Nevermind. We'll talk about a minute. Okay. Okay. Well, anyway, was a joke about cricket be more boring. I just so everyone knows that.

 

43:07

Cricket listeners, we're sorry,

 

43:09

Your cricket listeners? Chip chip, Chip chip

 

43:11

chip. So, so I, you know, I,

 

Collin  43:20

I can I respect people who play sports, and respect it just kind of like as a thing that exists in the world. But it takes me a lot to get to get into, into something. And even like, even something that is like, so simple to follow, like Formula One, where there's so few people, right? There's not that many. Not that many people involved? Are you the drivers, not the technical crew of like 7 billion. Right? Exactly. Just drivers, right? Who you're following the people who are actually out there deciding 20. Right. Exactly. And because we're like, well, I don't know, a lot of change, because I know 2020 saw at least one team drop, anyway. Yeah, you like there's literally 20 people or less than the other they're watching me this year, who are out there racing, and I can't even care enough to keep up with that. And so when when I am in awe of the people who sit down and not just sit there and talk about the history of the player of like, well in mighty mites, they had dads right here with a watch with like a stat book, right, like this man, like, little things down. Or, you know, even right, I'd sit down and try and watch a pro game and the announcers, you know, Grant, they have notes on all the players, but you know, they are sports people. They know, the history of each player and where they came from and their college lineage and all this stuff. Like,

 

44:51

I just,

 

Collin  44:52

I don't have I guess, I don't know if it's, if it's the care probably not care, like I just just don't care about that. Like, it's really hard for me to, to, to put that much effort into it. Again, I enjoy it as a thing that exists in the world. And it is what it is. It's just when it comes to like investing time to follow it is, is. It's never been something that I can like, jump on board with.

 

45:21

It's fair, I think. Yeah. So

 

Collin  45:25

to segue off of that, I think one of the things that, like when I say, when people tell him when people ask me if I like to watch sports, right, in the United States, for our international friends,

 

45:41

they mean,

 

45:43

one of three options that they mean, do you watch? baseball,

 

45:50

football or basketball?

 

45:52

Yeah. That's what they mean. Right? And I think very quickly, like,

 

45:57

I don't know.

 

Collin  46:00

Once you kind of watch those for a while, at least me once I watched them for a while, I was like, Okay, this is fine. And I started to like, look for other things to watch, because you kind of get bored of them. Again, this might just be my attention span issue.

 

46:14

Right. But like, I like to watch

 

Collin  46:19

sports I've never seen before. Because I love trying to figure out what's going on. Why watching. It's a way to keep myself actively engaged. Right? It's like when I watch baseball. It's just the minutiae of baseball is just too much. Right? I just can't, I can't parse like all the 700,000 little tiny details that are supposedly important or something. I'm just like, why is this on for five hours? What is happening? Right. I can't do it. So I mean, you mentioned the Olympics. I stinking love. The Olympics, like so much, just because of the variety of stuff. Yeah, it's on there. Like you can just watch all kinds of and you don't ever see it anywhere else hardly. is now that's a little bit different with the internet and, you know, networks picking up usually things are ESPN seven covering the

 

47:18

Yes, players like

 

Collin  47:20

like, you know, certain network, do they just play like certain things, whatever. But like, yeah, like streaming is really picky. You can watch that stuff more accessible. But like when I was younger, like that stuff was like you when am I ever gonna watch fencing? Never right now at the Summer Olympics. 130 in the afternoon, the only time I'm allowed to see it for like five years like what? So like, I like the Olympics because of the variety. And I like it's for me, it's really engaging because I always am trying to figure out like, what does that really mean? What is how did that kind of the score point there? It's like areas like making fun of curling. I still love curling. I love watching I love the like weird strategy of it. Like I love all the love how to just bizarre, like weird it is, right? I mean, it is like

 

48:08

our positive way. Like on TV like I can absolutely watch it but unless you're like you want to go like

 

Collin  48:15

well, cuz he had TV, you get to see more stuff, right? This is why I like to watch TV because you can see more angles. But like,

 

48:22

Yeah, I love it like, oh, curling is

 

48:24

on Heck yeah, let's go women's USA curling.

 

48:28

Heck, that's what I want to watch. Ladies are

 

Collin  48:31

amazing. Like, that's what I like. I like it for the variety. So I like to ski jumping. I like to watch the whatever. I like track and field stuff. Because there's like 800,000 different events, you can watch the track field and like

 

48:46

so I like to watch

 

Collin  48:49

a lot of like, what what the traditional American sports fan would consider like, weird or like fringe sports. And I always like it when I watch something I've never seen before. Like, what is happening right now what is not? This is crazy, right? It's why I like to watch rugby. It's really interesting,

 

49:11

right? I really love soccer.

 

Collin  49:14

I know, that's not really a French sport anywhere else in the world. But like in the US. It's like whatever soccer. Soccer is great for two reasons. Number one, it's just like,

 

49:23

non stop.

 

Collin  49:25

Again, this speaks to my attention span. The fact there's no commercial breaks, and I can watch on TV like a straight shot. It's good. But like that the dynamics of what's happening there. It's so fluid and things are changing, like every second that I'm kind of

 

49:40

like that. Right? I can keep up with that.

 

Collin  49:44

My mind can stay focused on that for a long time. Whereas like, you know, golf, a lot of is just like walking. Yeah, green can be very intense. You know, looking

 

49:58

and thinking yeah, Looking, and that's why I like

 

50:02

I kind of enjoy watching cricket because it's it's still relatively alien to me, where I'm still watching it with like,

 

50:13

What's that mean? What's going on here?

 

Collin  50:17

What Why did they do that? Right? I still watching it with those eyes. So I'm still like, relatively engaged in the proceedings, you know? So I like that kind of I also really love to watch like the World Cup soccer,

 

50:32

holy cow,

 

Collin  50:33

that's I learned that I can't really drink a lot of coffee and watch World Cup soccer simultaneously because my heart might explode. Like that's the one that's like the one

 

50:47

thing

 

Collin  50:48

that I like, will shout at my TV about like, big soccer tournament matches. Like I get into that, like, men and women. Because like the women, it could be the US winning in the men now it's never gonna be I saw an article today like about rebuilding us men's soccer. It's like the 700 article. I read about this. Yeah. And the first line, the first line of the article, it was like the US Soccer team really needs to put a lot of effort in finding a striker. I was like,

 

51:21

yeah,

 

Collin  51:22

they've never had one like ever. What do you mean, this is new plan? Come on. Well, maybe they never had a good one. They've never thought to look for a good one. Because they never thought one was fine with later on. But like, I don't know. I like to watch like weird sports like that are different. And

 

51:41

so one, my favorite channel is surprisingly at Buffalo Wild Wings. It's called an alternative sports panel. Where they have they have they have things like the lock toss. The cheese roll.

 

Collin  52:00

Like the lumberjack games are so cool. I love to watch. I think that's why I also like strong. I have like a weird affinity for strongman. Yeah, right? Because it's so like, bizarre Bizarro land where it's like, what? They're just holding something.

 

52:18

Okay, like,

 

52:19

that's kind of cool, I guess.

 

52:21

Yeah. Well, I

 

Collin  52:25

think I'll stick around said, I can't remember gonna stay. Now. I'm gonna come over another example. Well, no, I think I think exactly what you what you said at the beginning, there was, you know, when, when here in the us when we talk about sports culture is baseball, basketball, and football. And that's probably why I was just so turned off from the beginning because those permeate everywhere, and are so ingrained in everything that it was this immediate, like, reaction pull back against, but anytime, you know, the veil was lifted up, and you're able to see a little bit like little tiny glimpse beyond it was like, Oh, what's

 

53:02

that? What's that?

 

Collin  53:03

What's that? Like? What do they do? Yeah. Yeah, that was why I liked hockey a lot. When I was younger. I watched a lot of hockey because it was different. You know, it was like, Oh, this isn't just baseball, or this isn't basketball is something exciting? And like, different, you know, so I like to watch that. I like to I don't know, I was thinking other sports that I like to watch on TV when they're on like, I'm watching this for sure. Sure. Like, I don't know, I'll sit and watch most things. Not tennis or golf.

 

53:30

Sorry. I can't. The only time I ever white. Golf is when Mimi would take us to all those tournaments that they had at name.

 

Collin  53:48

Yeah, I liked golf. And so I like golf when there's like a windmill. And then a hippo bowling pins that jump up and down.

 

53:59

Like going to Highland Park, wherever Mimi would like on earrings. But then like, yeah, whatever she was did take us like, into the Missouri Sports Hall of Fame. I didn't know who any of those people were. It was to me, it was still like, so fun to go in. And who's this person? And then I think it was also really fascinating to watch Mimi's you know how much she loved? For sure. And, and that that was also another big thing like especially like when Oklahoma State played Iowa State which for those of you listening or our girl, it was a huge Iowa State fan. And so, you know, how can I have this cowboys do like well, it means that I will say lose by 50. I'm not talking about Iowa State. And so I remember those are always like, really fun. Especially getting those phone calls, especially like Oklahoma State last night. Well, I was looking at the sports channel today. Okay, thanks me. I just want to see how you're doing things that I will say when when I talk like that, especially now, especially that, like, I had that experience, I want to get back into coaching. I think, you know, knowing what I know now, and like having like a different outlook on sports, and how like, impactful it can be on people. Like, that's another reason kind of why I enjoy it. I'm looking at a little plaque that my seniors from the class of 2019 gave me and at the end Valley Trojans Coach Funkhouser on it and I'm like, and I had, like, all their signatures and grain and there's like a little LED light on it. Like, really cool. That like these, you know, is this unsigned, it's, it's to me like looking at it, like, really nice, guys. Like, it's something that now is very dear to me. And I was able to connect with these kids using athletics. Even if they were all little turd baskets, but I love them all the day.

 

Collin  56:19

Well, that that speaks to what sports can do, right? Which is the sort of team

 

56:25

slash

 

Collin  56:26

community building aspect that is possible whenever you're not just focused on the fact that you like, won or lost. Right? Like, because it does, like you're bringing, so let's just say your baseball team, right? All their parents, if they come to the game, right, now they're sitting talking to people they might not otherwise engage with, outside of that activity. Right. So like, it is you do have this, like, community building aspect that is possible. Now, it's not always happening. Because we're always like, shouting at the umpire or like, being ridiculous, or I don't know, but like, because we take it too seriously.

 

57:15

You know, like, I

 

Collin  57:17

that's the other thing that I get turned off of, like you said earlier, I think both of you said it, like the seriousness that you go with it is like off putting for me because I just want to watch something interesting. I just want to enjoy what I'm watching.

 

57:32

Right? I don't

 

Collin  57:34

care about this stuff. Now. You know, I mean, I get like, what at home, like I get amped up about some things, you know, when I'm super into it, but like, just me, and not like taking out other people. Like I was talking to somebody else. I'd like to like scream with him about

 

57:53

you know, how angry I get it.

 

Collin  57:57

Team Sky for being ridiculous. the Tour de France, right? That's no one else's game know what I'm talking about? Number one, but like, but you know, that's something I like to watch. It's a good example, cuz I didn't watch it this year, cuz I had to work at summer school. So I didn't get chance to watch the tour. Maybe sad. But like,

 

58:14

I really liked that.

 

58:16

I don't know why. I started watching it one year, just like,

 

58:21

I'm gonna watch it. I'm gonna see what it's like.

 

Collin  58:24

And then I'm like, watch it every year since because it's like super good friends. Like it really. I'm just like the dynamic. You're talking about ever changing crazy dynamic. It's like It's like so enthralling. It's a bicycle race, but like halftime, nothing even happens, but like, Oh, my gosh, are they in the right position? Are they gonna do this? Right? Like, at the end of the day, it's just a quiet. It's supposed to be like a fun, enjoyable thing. And I know that everybody out there making like, more money than I'm ever gonna see. As a teacher, right? Like, maybe not everybody, but a lot of people out there are doing that. And like

 

59:17

this, they'll just

 

Collin  59:19

interesting and fun. And I think too many people take sports too seriously. It's like, it's the most important thing ever. And I just don't think that's the case. You know, I mean, that's just my opinion. Other people. Yeah, like you said, there's lots of levels of investment in this kind of thing. Right? And some people that like that's, like, again, we've talked about this before, too, but if your identity is playing a sport, right, like that's your sole identity. Like you, you can't look at things the same way that I do.

 

59:58

You know, cuz I'm like, Okay, well

 

Collin  59:59

It's just kind of cool and fun to watch. But if you are, so if like you are playing a sport,

 

1:00:05

I don't know, whatever sport you play.

 

Collin  1:00:07

And that's like your thing. And you do that one thing only. First of all, side note, I don't think it's healthy, to be to, like, so fully associate yourself with one

 

1:00:22

thing.

 

Collin  1:00:23

Just mentally, I don't think that's a healthy place to be. Right? Because then if all of a sudden, you can't do that thing anymore. Yeah, now we have a problem. Well, we have some pains to deal with. But like, you know, you're so fully associate yourself with that identity that I think it really blocks everything else, because you have to focus on like, all I have to be like, at x level of, you know, goodness, or whatever. And like, that sort of overtakes your psyche. And like, just trying to always keep getting better and winning becomes important. I think you lose a lot of focus on. Like, the whole point in general, in my opinion, only well, like, well, and, and I'm sitting here trying to think of like, cuz I think that's I don't know, if that's just a common trope, or is widely publicized of like, a concern or problem with sports, is that you, you tend to see that or at least hear about that a lot of people who have their identity attached to a particular sport, because that's what they were good at. And you don't see that when someone was good at like math in high school, they don't go through. I mean, it's going like, you might, I mean, part of that, I think, is the publicity behind sports events. You know, I was gonna say I had more publicity and other things, you might see a broader team, but to the extent to which that skill is loaded in unhealed. Yes, true. Yes. Others, I think that's exactly a very good reason as to why your identity can get caught up in that, because when it does get elevated, or at least proclaimed loudly as being a good thing to be enjoyed and watched. Yeah, there is an obvious draw to make that part of who you are, in the long run, right? And then yeah, if you don't have checks and balances in the place, yet that can lead to that, right. And like Aaron was kind of talking about, like, you know, he's talking about if you are, let's pretend you are from a small rural Oklahoma town, right, and you're, you see

 

1:02:29

your

 

Collin  1:02:31

escape from this town, as tied to sports.

 

1:02:36

Right? And then, now, you are like, driven

 

Collin  1:02:43

to, like, dive into this hole of like, now my identity is this thing because I must succeed to do this. Right? Whereas statistically speaking, that's never gonna happen. Right? If you just look at like, the pure numbers of people that make it higher level sports, it's like, small, right, which is, again, it's a testament to their ability. But again, I also have this this side of me that goes, like, I'm watching a professional basketball game. And you know, I hear about these trade deals and stuff that's happening right now. You go, my kids play this game at recess. Right, you're making $35 million to play the same game.

 

1:03:23

Well, yeah. Why? Like, it's ridiculous, right?

 

Collin  1:03:27

Like, it's so blown out of proportion, in my opinion. It's so dumb. Like, why? Why is it that important? Why have we placed such a high financial value on

 

1:03:44

a game?

 

1:03:45

Right, you know,

 

Collin  1:03:46

well, but like suicidally think of the economies that are driven by that one person. Yeah. And people, right. And I know, it's like distraction based. And we all need, like, the escape of something. But like, I'm even I'm even thinking about like, just like paintings and the art world to have known. You look at some of the impressionist sticks or whatever, and you go, really, like that was ha, okay. Cool.

 

1:04:11

I guess.

 

1:04:12

I guess that's worth a couple million. Great. Well, I

 

Collin  1:04:16

mean, those are different because that's, like, worse, because it's the only one ever. Yeah, I mean, yeah. True, but just like the art market as a whole, like the amount of it's confusing. Anyway, it doesn't make sense whatever. Anyway, but yeah, well, yeah, it's like he said, there's a lot of things and it does stuff but like ultimately, like I think it's unhealthy back to the point like I think it's very unhealthy

 

1:04:39

to

 

Collin  1:04:41

So wrap yourself up in in one identifying characteristic that it defines who you are as a person, right? I know. That's my opinion. And because I try not to do that, like, yeah, I hate those like icebreaker games are like describe yourself in like x words like I literally can't do that, like I, I pride myself on trying to be as diverse as possible. I don't want to like, you know, I don't define myself as like, Oh, I am a teacher, or I play an instrument. Right? Yeah, part of who I am. But it's not like the overriding characteristic of my personality. You know, I think it's really weird to do that. And so like, when if your defining characteristic is like, I am, like, I have to be like an Australian rules football player

 

1:05:38

that you do nothing else about you? Nothing. Like that's kind of not interesting, right? Like, oh, I'm a swimmer.

 

Collin  1:05:47

It's all you do you swim? Well. Yeah, like, you own nothing else. Like, well, I understand that's, that's what's needed for you to succeed. But also, it makes you not interesting. Like, it makes. Yeah, it is. It is really tough because society, I think, I think society has done a very, very, very bad job. Communicating and telling people and basically lying to people that there is a special dream destiny out there The one thing for you that that you must try and find to fulfill all of your dreams and desires, right? Like that's true. Yeah. Like, like, it's like, Oh, what? Find the one passion and find the one thing and you're just it's like, oh, my gosh, like no, like, at the end of the day? No, you are so much more complex than that. But it is hard, because you do have to fight that because you do have to fight as you search for your identity. The world telling you find this other thing or find this thing, or what's your thing? What's your one thing? Yeah,

 

1:06:47

you don't need one thing? I

 

Collin  1:06:48

don't need one thing. And that's it's hard, because that's that that's more complicated. It's more complex. That is one reason why I really detest the state of politics, one of many reasons. But I mean, yeah, what like, people are so like, they put you in these big buckets. And they go, you are either this, or this. And if you're in the middle dancer, nothing, right. They don't acknowledge that there's Yeah, yeah, there's that. Yeah, they don't know that. There's other they don't like things. And it's like, it's like, it's so I get so frustrated when it comes time to like, pick somebody or some, you know, for for a thing. It's like,

 

1:07:22

what they don't meet who, you

 

Collin  1:07:25

know, they don't? Yeah, my qualifications? Well, the problem with politics in general, is that, like, the defining characteristics of those buckets are like two things.

 

1:07:35

Right? There's

 

Collin  1:07:36

likely there's like two things that make you wonder, or, you know, let's say five shirt, let's say five, let's be generous. Yeah, like, you know, if, like, if you just say the word, conservative, right, there is a list of about five things that goes into that bucket. Yeah, boom, that's it. That's the defining characteristic, even if, like there is we all know, there's way more nuance to that. Right?

 

1:08:04

But, and there's lots of in the middle, and there's lots of nuance to this stuff,

 

1:08:09

but like, nope, these and people, like,

 

Collin  1:08:15

vote for you, because they, they have an idea of what those five things are. And the interesting part is that same that idea is not the same for everybody. Right? Right. Like if one person says conservative, they think of a list of five things, if somebody else says it is a different list of five things.

 

1:08:36

Right? But so they're, they're sort of

 

1:08:42

engaging in that nuance, but they're not publicly stating. Well, or

 

Collin  1:08:46

more often than not, what actually it is, is, it's this, it could let's say it's the same five let's say you miraculously find somebody who agrees, sustained five definitional things, but you know, of your five, they only align with two of them while the other person or they might

 

1:09:01

be in a different order of importance, or like zactly

 

Collin  1:09:04

right, so like, it's all these weird hierarchies and it is again, just getting back to that trying to define your identity and find that in where you placed that. It Again, this this whole like what buckets you fall in, not allowing yourself to be defined by others, I think is that huge first step in taking that control away from those from from society from the world and going no, you don't you don't get to define

 

1:09:29

me.

 

Collin  1:09:30

But that's again, that sounds very millennial doesn't it sounds very like yeah, you know, I mean, a sort of push back about what you were talking about, because the the fact that the idea of like, Oh, you have to have that was you saying that was the one thing that's becoming a very antiquated idea of like, oh, you're gonna graduate high school, go to college and then have one job for 40 years? Yeah. That's, that's really not. How many things function any longer. Yeah. and allowing somebody to realize that you can grow and develop as a person and come up with new ideas and new interests and just continue growing always and not just be like, yep, I am

 

1:10:19

electrical engineer forever, right? Or like,

 

1:10:23

I am gonna be an accountant. And those fields are excellent and wonderful things. Anything that,

 

1:10:29

no, no. And maybe you do, maybe you're like, I love it.

 

Collin  1:10:32

That's great. I'm happy for you. But like, you can't pigeonhole everybody into that box of like, I'm gonna be accountant for 40 years and retire. So I'm, you might be an accountant for like, 10 years and be like, Oh, I want to open a flower shop. Right? I love gardening and flowers. And I want to do that. And that's great old world, Old World, like when I quote Old World, like pre 1988? No, no, don't ever do that. So you must just stay an accountant forever. I'm curious. And sort of the new way thinking is like, yeah, I'm just gonna own I'm just gonna sell flowers being told. I'm curious for you. Interacting with the youth of the world? How do you? Like, do you see them struggling with this, at that at that age? And how do you if if you have had to work through them, and kind of this self discovery process?

 

1:11:43

I think it

 

Collin  1:11:45

because I work with 12 year olds? Absolutely. That's like, the whole problem that we had, like at the beginning of the year, I basically tell them all, like my beginning of the year speech is something about like, sixth grade is going to be hard.

 

1:12:02

Number one, because

 

Collin  1:12:05

the sixth grade curriculum in school is the most difficult you have done so far.

 

1:12:12

Right? Yeah, you're ready for it,

 

Collin  1:12:14

you've made it here. It's just it's going to be harder than what you had last year. The other reason sixth grades gonna be hard is because being 12 is hard. Right? It's a whole thing that is basically when that happens. And so I think that an important thing to do is to when when a kid is talking to you about something that they're interested in, just shut up and listen to them. That's what you guys do. And I think, because they have expressed interest in a thing, and you should just listen to that, and encourage them to look into it. Because like, you know, like we've talked about, like, being on the basketball team is not for everyone. And sure, the kid that wants to be on the basketball team, you should be like, Yeah, do it. And that kid that wants to take choir, he should be like,

 

1:13:04

do it. I mean, your,

 

Collin  1:13:08

your opinion, and your interest is valuable. And I want to acknowledge that by not being like, Oh, I don't like that thing. Doesn't matter what I like anymore. It's what you like. So I just need to listen to you. I need to express interest in something you're interested in. And I just need to encourage you to keep doing it. Because I think that's, that's right, because in sixth grade, we're starting to change our interests. Right? Like we've, we've, we liked this before. And now maybe we don't like it so much. And our friends are gonna be mean to us. They're gonna call us names. We're gonna, it's gonna be hard for us to pivot to something new, right? Like, you know, I did play baseball, but really, I just kind of want to be an art class.

 

1:14:00

Right? And that, that can be a hard transition. Because your friends might not respect your choice. Because let's be honest, 1212 year olds are not respectful. Little humans.

 

1:14:15

Like

 

Collin  1:14:19

they need somebody to just be like, yeah, it's cool idea.

 

1:14:24

I like you do it. Yeah.

 

Collin  1:14:26

So I think I think just listening to them is kind of the big, the big first step, just listen to what they had to say.

 

1:14:35

and go from there. So one thing I always said in any other, like, if I was like interviewing for a coaching position, they always ask the question like, Oh, so what is you know, do you have a coaching philosophy or something and one thing that I always say, and there's No other things you throw in there. But I always talk about, I don't want to be the reason a kid loses interest in a sport that they love. Because a lot of kids, a lot of cases, his face burnt out, because either you know, they're pushing too hard or, you know, more importantly, that parents push their kids who are like super intense, of wanting to, you know, hey, you know, I was, you know, the athlete in high school, you need to be the athlete in high school now, and, you know, yeah, on onto their kids. And so I always set myself like, I don't want to be the reason a kid loses interest in a sport that they love. And, you know, get exactly what Brian was talking about, is at that age, excuse me, are trying to, you know, identify who the heck they are. And be, you know, like it, you know, am I gonna be like this kid? Or, you know, am I even gonna like this? And so, when kids tell me, I'll coach, I want to be like, I want to be like this, because we all go, you know, well, why do you want to be like that? Oh, well, because my, my dad was like, What was that? What? Is that what your dad was or that what? Like, what you want? And so providing that question to kids, is more challenging than I anticipated? Because a lot of time the kids don't like, understand that. This is why this is why they're in their sport, because their dad or whoever, you know, wanted them to be. And so that, to me, that question is really big. For for kids kind of be like, Well, you know, so why, why are you playing this? Why not? Like, why are you playing this more of a Hey, so you know, why? Why do you? Why do you? Why do you like the sport? Or do you like playing? Is it something that you can utilize that will help give you more hours I called more opportunities and grow? Is that something that you want to do? Because you just, you know, I had one kid, and you're really good at this for like, why do you you know, why do you have to play through this more? You know, you're, you're born, you're playing a sport. That's why you're honest. I like it. So there's a lot of reasons why kids play sports, and yeah, especially in a small town, you don't really have a lot of options of like, either to get you out of the small town. So you can you know, experience life at a different level? Or are they going at this point, I don't know. But like, you know, something to where it's like you can, you know, experience it for yourself, and nothing else. Ryan was saying, you know, whatever kids say, you know, say something, you know, you just just let them talk. And then you can it's your job as a teacher to facilitate the best way that they can achieve their goals. So

 

Collin  1:18:19

yeah, well, I've only had one experience with a student was one of my all time favorite students, their name was Fatima. And she, I was with her when in real time, she realized that being a doctor, not the trajectory that she was going to be on for the rest of her life. And it was really hard. It was really hard because she was a junior in college. And it just seemed like, Yeah, right. And we're an a&p. And or I was it Yeah, it was, it was in human anatomy. And it's just it the the wall shut in front of her eyes. And she realized, like, what it was because she just suddenly you talked about burnout, like, she just suddenly had no more passion for it. And then she lost total interest in it. And all of these bricks and like, she realized that she was doing it for all these wrong reasons. And like, like the rest of the class left, and then we just sat, like, I sat at the table with her. And she just like, cried for 20 minutes. And like, was, was trying to figure out like, was it okay for her to change her mind? And that was the big, her big hang up, was like, Can I change my mind right now? Is that okay? Is that appropriate for me? And I realize that like, not only does the world tell you, there's a dream destiny thing, but also they demonize changing your mind and nobody talks about changing their mind.

 

1:19:52

Yeah,

 

1:19:52

that's a good point, like from

 

1:19:55

like, because we typically

 

Collin  1:20:00

As you grow up, you're always looking at people older around you like parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles. And they are like, most time, they're already established. So they never change. So why would they talk about needing to change anytime they have to change, like, so? I think that just viewing it's like a negative, like they got fired. Exactly, exactly. Yeah. And so it's hard to place ourselves and especially with the younger you are like, it is really hard to see the trajectory that you're on is not the same trajectory that somebody older than you is on, like, they've already gone through the hills and valleys and humps and bumps a lot of the times and have a lot of that ironed out not necessary all the time. Right? Not Not really. But when she was talking to me, it just hit me like a ton of bricks that she'd never seen somebody changed their mind, in like a big life decision. She'd never seen it or had to experience that. And it was really like, that's what that that central focus was about was like, You can't like, this is an end, you know, and she ended up, she was not gonna be a doctor. She all of a sudden, like, we worked with her. I worked with her for a couple weeks. And it was like, you know, nursing is where I need to be because it like it just, she was able to find a path from there that still fit a lot of her other passions, but it just, you know that that like, is this, okay? Am I doing something wrong is something wrong with me, and I changed her mind in it. It got back in the hole, it gets back to that whole identity thing, right of like, if I if I claimed I was going to I am a doctor, I'm going to be a doctor. That's who I am. By saying no to that. I'm saying no to me. And that must that's bad, right? It's Yeah, yeah. But now, you're just saying that you don't want to be like that version. But you don't you decide you didn't like that. And so I mean, it is daunting, because that means that you have to make a new version. I recently Yeah, yeah. Right. And you sort of have to come up with a new identity for you. But it that's definitely plausible and possible thing to do. So. But it's rather daunting, because like you said, People don't talk about doing that part. Let's talk about the, you know,

 

1:22:09

I am this,

 

Collin  1:22:10

they don't really talk about how they got there. Or like, what to do, if that doesn't work. You know, like, what do you what do you do now? You mean, and I feel like that's an important aspect, especially, you know, with, with lots of there are certain things that that it is more

 

1:22:32

prevalent. But like, yeah, like, what do you do?

 

Collin  1:22:38

In that day comes when you're like, even if you were that for a long time, right? Let's say you are a doctor, eventually, someday, you're not going to be a doctor anymore.

 

1:22:48

Yeah. At what you do, yeah. Right. Like, Oh, no.

 

1:22:56

I have to be something else. How do I be at something?

 

Collin  1:23:02

No, is true? No. But you know, you look at like, the trainings that you can take for jobs and stuff. And like, I just this just came to me because I see a ton of them of like, how to be a more effective manager how to be I get best made 7000 emails a day about like, online. But I deleted like six today.

 

1:23:22

I don't know, like,

 

Collin  1:23:24

they are never going to have a class is like, should you still be a manager? Right? Like, no, there's no good. There's too many class saying how to transition to your post managerial life. Like that's, no, that's not good. Because it's, again, it's this binary Either you are or you aren't. And that's it. Right. There's no greater Yeah, you don't transition through parts of your life. What are you talking about? There's nothing like that. Oh, but gosh,

 

1:23:51

it's so frustrating.

 

Collin  1:23:52

Yeah, like you're talking about this kind of seem like, some people think that you were like, born a manager. That's not how that works. That's not not. And again, not discounting the people who are like, from the age of five, or like, I'm going to be a vet in their event, and they're the happiest I've ever been in their whole life. No, I mean, that's cool. I was definitely not that kid. But like, I remember being like slightly traumatized in high school, you know, because they, they tell you that right? Like, the all the teachers are like, Yeah, you got to find out what you're what you're gonna do for the rest of your life. Like you're What? I'm 18 years old, and I don't really do decision making real well. So like, right, we've talked about for the rest of my life, Like what?

 

1:24:42

Like, that's a really

 

Collin  1:24:45

sort of traumatic thing to thrust upon an 18 year old who's going through like so much stuff and like, already, everything around them is changing, like their whole social structure is about to be destroyed. Right like a whole bunch of stuff is changing. And then somebody's like, yo, what's the one thing you're gonna do for the rest of your existence?

 

1:25:10

Oh, no. Right.

 

Collin  1:25:14

Right. That's it.

 

1:25:15

Yeah. You know,

 

Collin  1:25:16

I think it's, it's more I think it would be. And again, the system is set up to do that. But I think a more appropriate question is just sort of like, Well, what do you want to do right now?

 

1:25:27

Yeah. Right. Like, yeah. One like, I, I remember a story of this guy that was like, he was a kid, like an account or something. But like, in college, he was like a bartender. And, you know, he got his degree in, like, business and finance. And so he was an accountant. And he did that for like, two years, he's like, I am really miserable. You know, I'm, I'm gonna go back and be a bartender. And so he he's a full time marketer. And that is that is his job. And that's what he loves to do. Well, there are,

 

Collin  1:26:03

are certain jobs slash careers, that people that I guess society's a whole finds unacceptable? Right there because they don't fit the traditional sense of what you should be doing at x age of your life. And like bartending is one of them. I watched the interview he yesterday with Cory Wong, he's the guitarist for the band vulfpeck. If you've ever heard of them, they're like a jam band D like experimental like funk. They're really awesome. You should check it out. Anyway, he was talking about, like, that's what he thought, right? He was like talking about the early stages of his life, kind of that early 20s part where he said, kind of like, it was very clear, to literally everyone around me that I needed to be a musician. But I couldn't see it. Like, I was like, Oh, I can do like computer drafting. Like, I'm good at that I because I need a real job a quote, traditional real job. That's what I have to do. That's, you know, that's how the world works. I have to have this, quote, real job. And he said, it was really, really weird for a while, because it was very apparent to everyone. That I need to be a musician. But I couldn't see it myself. Yeah. Right. Because I was so focused on this, this aspect of like, Oh, I have to do this. And this is what people do, and I have to fit into this thing. And he's like, eventually, I was like, he was talking about something. He talked about his realization, he was like,

 

1:27:44

you know,

 

1:27:48

this is wrong. Like, I should be.

 

1:27:53

Like, yeah, yeah. Well, it was

 

Collin  1:27:56

like later, it was delayed by Who knows? I don't remember how long because he was so focused on like, the, quote, traditional correct thing, path, you know? So, yeah, it's, it's, there's also that stigma of like, well, that's not a real job. Like,

 

1:28:15

why not?

 

Collin  1:28:16

2021? Man? Why is that not a real job?

 

1:28:19

Why not?

 

Collin  1:28:21

Well, and I know I, I don't know how canonical This is or isn't or whatever. But I remember hearing the story of, of mom when she went to, to college, and she was gonna, she went to college, she was going to be a vet. And she said, the first day she was there, she couldn't find her first class, or like the first building or was supposed to be in and she was like, Well, I guess I'm not supposed to be a vet. Right?

 

1:28:46

It does sort of sound like something she was saying.

 

1:28:49

I didn't know that. That might

 

Collin  1:28:50

be slightly exaggerated in the lingo later, but that does sound about right. I think I vaguely recall a similar degree in education, right. But like, it was, it was just, oh, well, this isn't this isn't working and I don't that that, that that story always kind of stuck with me of like, again, this example of you don't hear very many times of when somebody changed their mind and saw that you thought Oh, is okay on the other side, right? The person it's not really genuinely just like sports. It's just it's really not that big of a deal. Right? Like it's Yeah, you're gonna be fine.

 

1:29:33

I remember one of my, my students, he's a freshman or was freshman by now he's a junior, and I remember talking about college and granted me being you know, the bias person's like well, you know, in college, junior college right up the road and here's because I always talked about the phone. You know, if you don't know if college right for you, like if you feel that, like, okay, because that's how that's everyone's biggest thing like, em, you know, should I go to college is college or big for me like anything I always look now go to do go get all your basics out of the way. t 's college is something that, you know, I feel like it's one of those sounds like one of those medical commercials No, no, see, this is right for you. Um, I always hold this, like, hey, look, you know, there's a junior college right up the road, go and see if you even like it, you know, dip your toes in the water, if you like it. And then if you don't like it, awesome, you got an associate's degree, you did two years, you know, Bing, bang, boom, you're done. But if you do like it, it now opens up more opportunities for you. MPLS is really cheap. Like, you don't have to spend an arm and a leg, you know, to go out and do something like that. So if you want to, if you want to try it, go for it, if not, no big deal. And the one thing I told this kid was like, dude, I like help. I changed my degree, like, two or three times by seven. It was always, like, I changed a lot. And he's like, if you do that, like, Oh, yeah, I went, I went to school with the kid that was still going to school if he was like, four years older than me. And he's like, I don't know what I want to do anymore. And so it's like, it takes longer, but you literally can change your degree if you want to. And there's nothing wrong with that. Like I was always told that, like, I had to pick a degree and just go for it. I was like, yeah, you can literally go in there. But like, Look, no, no, don't do go is getting an associate's degree. Try it out. If you like it cool, if not, not a big deal, but at least just try to open up offers more opportunities for you. Because Yeah, he's like, Well, my dad's an auto mechanic, and I'm gonna be like, dude, that's what you want to do, don't go for it. But if you just want to try something is not going to kill you go out there, you know, literally apply for any scholarship is there bound to give you like seven. And then just, you know, if you like it cool, you know, go for it. But if you don't, you know, get associate's degree and you can carry on about your way. And so that's what he was talking about. He's like, I'm gonna go just get an associate's degree and see what happens. Like, that's cool. Oh, boy. Give it a shot, though.

 

Collin  1:32:44

I love it. That's possibly a separate conversation. But that that idea that you have to go to college right now when you're 18? Go? Oh, no. Yeah, we could come back to that later at some point. Because we're going to, like sports or not. That is, yeah, sports sports stuff.

 

1:33:00

Anyway, I like it. Now. Uh,

 

Collin  1:33:03

well, cool. No, I really appreciate that. Because I think that that those two things are pretty mixed together and turned a lot of people off from, from sports, whenever they feel how invested or how serious people take it, or how, how, how it becomes part of their core identity. Like that. That's a turnoff for a lot of people. And well, I think I think the wrap up would then be like, people that because I have known people that are like, they're good at sports. They're like, really good. But they don't want to anymore. Yeah. And they, they have a hard time with that decision of like, ah, I you know, I'm a you know, let's, whatever sport, I'm a play basketball, I play basketball. I'm a basketball player. That's my identity. And I'm really good at it. But I want to do nursing. Sure, yeah. Something like that. And so they, you know, they're willing to be like, yeah, I want to do that. Because I now have discovered something a new passion in my life. And transitioning away from that. It's really difficult. Because there's a lot, there's a lot of pressure on them to be like, No, you got to play basketball, you guys like but I don't want to play the guy. You know, you're good. And you know, I'm

 

1:34:19

good. But I enjoy it.

 

Collin  1:34:23

I want to do this. And again, that's where you got to, you know, you just got to It's okay. To do that. You know? Yeah, it's okay. To explore new things. It can be scary. It's really scary. Especially if it's like, you know, doesn't when you're older, the older you get, the scarier it is. And I think that's why the traditional wisdom was don't do it.

 

1:34:46

You know, but

 

1:34:50

it's much more viable now. And so it's okay to change your mind.

 

1:34:53

It's okay to

 

1:34:55

not play sport anymore. It's okay to watch more than one sport.

 

1:34:59

It's okay to do that.

 

Collin  1:35:02

You don't have to be like I'm a baseball fan. Watch something else a little hockey I don't care watch something else. Good your comfort zone try something else. Yeah, learn something else because again what I don't Yeah, one of the things you'll find is that sometimes it's important yes it's important to know what you like but a lot of more important is important to know what you don't like or who you are not right like it's that balance of like, Who am I but also Who am I not in this like casting unit broad trying new things is all part of that process. Yeah, I think that's that's a really good point. I think I kind of aligned myself more with Well, here's what I'm not philosophy. Right if I think I want that questionnaire at my stupid staff meeting on Monday, I'm like, describe who you aren't in five things. I got that in bag. I do that. The describe who you are. Nope. Any more than that? I think last time I wrote indescribable boom. How true Yes.

 

1:36:27

With that will. Thank you. Good night. Love you guys.